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I deserve it,My husband and i had a huge fight

5 months ago and in a jeated arguement,i told him i was going to kill him,(not that i was,Im not that way)and now he doesnt want to be with me,he told me last night he just doesnt look at me the same and would like a divorce.We have 2 small kids,I told him sorry i didnt mean it,he says the fury in my face was like i meant it,Now i lost my husband.Should i give up???I want this marriage to work,and yes i know that should never have been said.Is it my time to move on?????

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on May. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I can't imagine leaving for one remark like that. Let him cool off and you too and see what happens. Maybe there's more than he's telling you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • You had this fight 5 months ago and he wants to leave NOW?

    Answer by Kristinmomof2 at 11:17 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • It sounds like there are lots of other problems here, not just one fight. If he is truly ready to leave you after you said one messed up thing, then he's just looking for a reason that it's your fault that he's leaving so he doesn't have to take the blame himself.

    I'd say sit down with him in a neutral setting (but not public in case things get heated again) and tell him how you feel. That you want this to work and that you are willing to take steps to change and to help him to change.

    If he really wants out then there's nothing for you to do but to let him go and move on.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:17 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • He really took it to the heart i guess,but im not a murderer im not,I told him stupid things i say when im angry.I want to fight for this marriage,but he doesnt see a reason to stay.WE were even going to do the love dare book,& now its not even worth it.Im devestated,I thought in love you can forgivee anything????I guess maybe not in this case.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • It sounds like he's looking for a way out. One comment 5 months ago isn't something that should ruin a marriage. People say things when they're mad that they don't mean. I'm sure he's done it too.

    Can you drag him to counseling? That would be what I would do first. If he won't go, go by yourself. A counselor can help you get things straight in your head and help you figure out what to do.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 12:26 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • I think you need to move on and get yourself in therapy before your children start telling other children they are going to kill them. Little ears hear a lot even when you think they are asleep. There is NO excuse for the crap you've said and I think hubby needs to leave and stop being abused by you. If you can't control what you do or say while you are angry, it might be best if hubby takes the kids until you get some help.

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 1:10 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • Sounds like he is using it as a cop-out.. an Easy out for him. We all say things we don't mean during heated arguements from time to time. if he can 't move past this then whats to say he would be able to stand by your side through tougher things? The ones that are going to suffer in the long run is your Children. He should at least try to work at "it" for them!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • Move on. It sounds like this is the final straw for him. You can't force someone to love you. You can't council him into it. Either he does or he doesn't.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 3:34 PM on May. 4, 2009

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