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How do you explain to a child about their father who is a alcoholic, and they want to know why he is not coming around to visit, I do not really want him to visit how do I explain this?

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gsberthold

Asked by gsberthold at 11:21 AM on May. 4, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (6)
  • be completely honest. how old is your child? tell your child that its in their best interest that he not come around right now and explain that he has a drinking problem. do not bash their dad to them-it will cause hard feelings. they may get upset but its their dad. honesty is the best policy. good luck
    SThompson21

    Answer by SThompson21 at 11:24 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • I agree with the posted above, but you must stress to the child that this is an illness, and until Daddy gets treatment for his illness, it is not good for anyone to be around him.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:43 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • Tell them their father has a sickness that he can't really control and until he decides to seek help he won't get better. Teach them how alcohol makes them act stupid and do stupid, and often harmful, things, and until he gets better, it's safer if their father doesn't visit right now, because you don't want them getting hurt.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • The truth. Gear it towards their age of course.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 2:22 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • We are going through this with my step-son and his Mom, except she is into illegal drugs. We just simply tell him that his Mom is making some bad choices right now, and it is safe if he isn't around it. Now that he is older(this started when he was 5), he knows her bad choices are drugs. He also knows that a Judge said she couldn't see him unsupervised via an agency, so he isn't mad at us for it. We have told him many times that it's not his fault, and we will probably never know the reasons behind her choices. But until she gets help, she will continue to make these choices. I think the hardest part for him was realizing she knows she won't see him as long as she is doing drugs, and still won't stop.
    Angel8203

    Answer by Angel8203 at 2:52 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I grew up with an alcoholic in our near family and it was diffecult BUT we children knew a LOT more then our parents realized about what was going on. So be honest but age appropriate and you should be fine.

    Also AA runs support groups for family members of alcoholics, many of them are geared specifically towards children and teens (ala-teen and alanon) you may want to contact them for further inform or advice.
    TabathaM

    Answer by TabathaM at 6:53 PM on May. 8, 2009

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