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How do I get my 15 year old to talk to me?

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adviceseeker123

Asked by adviceseeker123 at 12:02 PM on May. 4, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • talk to them. try to relate to them tell them a life story or something of whe you were young but be carful you woudnt want them using it against you.
    chukuku

    Answer by chukuku at 12:04 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • My oldest is neaerly 25, younger two down to teens. When my oldest was a toddler I bought a book with a title called "Who to talk so your child will Listen" Or it was called "How to Listen so your child will talk", great great book even now. It's about parents understanding kids emotions through the ages and expressing worries without coming on horrifically strong 24/7.

    At times I've told my kids we need to talk and they can look at me or not. Their choice but what ever will be said and worked out or x punishment (s) either continue or will occur. That ability to not look at me face to face to be reprimanded at first usually opens now my younger two up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • This is going to sound weird but it worked for me and my sister. I have 3 boys and 2 girls so 5 total. My oldes three are 23, 18, and 15. When I felt we needed to reconect or that something was bothering them and they were hesitant to talk, I would flop on my bed with them. Low lighting sometimes helps so they feel they are not under the microscope. For some reason that atmosphere just helped them spill what ever it was that was troubling them. Just one on one time to sit or lay on the bed and chat.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • I think the trick is to keep everything confidential. Once they trust you more and more will come out. Unfortunately my ds tells me a little too much info at times.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • First ask open ended questions, such as; What did you study in school today?. If your child can answer yes or no to a question it is a closed question. I taught parenting for 22 years and these little tips help so much. Just try it. Start the questions with what, where when how and they will be open ended. Also for children holding in problems take a long drive with them and start the conversation with seems like you are feeling (what ever you think they are feeling, sad, mad, glad,) then ask do you want to talk about it? If the answer is no, then say well I am here anytime you feel like talking. Then, be QUIET. Listen, don't enterupt. Too many parents don't LISTEN.
    Ladyelizabet722

    Answer by Ladyelizabet722 at 3:39 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • Go shopping, take a picnic lunch to the park, take a long walk, go bowling, go to a political event, just do something that you both like to do.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:21 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • That depends, what does your teen not talk about that you want to talk about?
    TheFriskyKitty

    Answer by TheFriskyKitty at 5:01 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • tell him that he can say anything to you good or bad HE CAN TRUST YOU . TELL HIM YOUR HIS BEST FRIEND NOT JUST HIS MOM. tell him if somethings wrong to tell you so you can help him. and when something good happens to tell you also so you can enjoy his happiness with him. Put yourself in his shoes and try to be a littler more understanding in his way of thinking.and take it from there.and also tell him what you think . ex.- i agree with you but i also think.......... i HAVE A 14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND i TALK TO HER LIKE WE ARE GIRLFRIENDS. bUT WHEN IT COMES TO BEING A MOM IM A ,MOM
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 5:57 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • I often start by asking about friends, or talking about something I heard about a kid (sometimes I even make up the fact that I know the kid, it up if it is a subject I want to talk about like sexting.. I tell them it happened to a colleagues kid, etc.) and try to get them to talk about a subject or other kids - then you can often ask what they think, if there were faced with the same thing, etc. And, yes good idea not to judge, remain confidential, etc.

    Another thing that worked well with my kids when there were problems are text messages. Sad, but my daughter told me some serious stuff by text. I didn't criticize, just figured it got the conversation started, I was glad she told me the truth. If also look at their FB pages or blogs, I never comment on the site, but it if is serious enough, I may mention it to them or ask them about it but at least it lets me know about what is happening in teenland!
    PhillyinFrance

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 9:28 PM on May. 4, 2009

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