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Does anyone believe that a marriage will work after one has cheated?

Or is it so.....once a cheater always a cheater?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on May. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • It's not always once a cheater always a cheater but that doesn't have anything to do with the damage that cheating does in a marriage.I DO NOT believe a marriage can survive happily once either person has cheated.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 1:02 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • My husband and I got married young and we have both cheated. We separated for almost 2 years and got back together and have been faithful to one another since and its been 5 years now. Its all about rebuilding the trust and wanting to be a better person. I can honestly say the temptation is not there for either of us as we know the pain is has caused. Once a cheater doesn't mean always a cheater unless that person does it over and over. People and actions can change if you truly love and believe in someone.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 1:03 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • yes. either the cheater should be dumped no matter who cheated. there will always be doubt in the mind of the one cheated on. It's a violation of love. Counseling works for the time counseling is happening. Counselling can't be with the cheater to baby sit years down the line.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • My mom had an affair on my dad... It was real messy. They are still married and that was about 7 years ago. :)
    And yes, they are happily married. That was the turning point in a miserable marriage. They realized they did both love each other and they both needed to change for the better.
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 1:08 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • BTW it took alot of work.. they saw a counselor once a week for a long time..
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 1:09 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • The is not exact answer to that. I believe it depends on how strong your marriage is. I believe ppl can make mistakes. Never make them again. But sometimes ppl learn that they can get over on you. I was in a relationship with a cheater for eight years. Who thought I would never be strong enough to leave but I did. Couple of my close friends have gone throw the same situation and their spouses never cheated again and they are happy. But the biggest question you have to ask your self is can you forgive. I thought I could but truthfully it was way to hard. I forgave but didn't forget. If you want to get past it you have to forgive and forget. I say it could work. As long as they keep up there end of the bargain. You forgive and forget.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • "You forgive and forget."


    Forgiving is a choice, forgetting is not a choice.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 1:14 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • It depends on how strong you marriage is..
    well if it was strong to begin with..noone would cheat..
    Personally I could not forget it and I would think about him being sexual with her way too
    much..
    I think it can work for some people and it will not work for others.
    If the marriage was full of respect for one and other there would be no asking.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 1:14 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • i guess it depends on the circumstances. why did it happen? how was our marriage. or was it just pure selfishness. i know for me it would be hard to forgive to think my dh put his penis were it dosent belong just makes me mad and upset as i know it is the same for me. we both know what cheating would do to us and how much hurt it would cause so we make sure to talk open if i want to spice things up then we do it. if i feel hes bored i do something we try to keep it alive. i love my dh with my heart he is a good man and i might have to remind myself of that if it ever happend as i would hope he would do the same. its a hard question but i do feel there would be some seperation to clear the head and take time to think. and listen to the reasons why it happend. hmmmmm. but trust would be a hole nother issue..
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 1:19 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • I think it would depend on if you are both willing to work on saving the marriage. I would suggest marriage counseling- to have a neutral place to talk this issue out, and have someone help you both to work thru it and work on building a relationship and trust again.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 3:07 PM on May. 4, 2009

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