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How do I decide who's last name my baby gets?

I found out that I was pregnant a few weeks after me and my baby's father broke up. We have remained friends, and he has gone to almost all of the doctor's appointments with me. Ultimately, she (our baby) will be my primary responsibility for the rest of my life, and who knows what he will be there for. He still wants us to be together, but I do not have feelings for him anymore. I know we will never be married. I want my baby to have my last name, and he is adamant about her having his last name. How do I decide, and how do I break the news to him?

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Asked by roseybaby at 4:07 PM on May. 4, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (18)
  • I would give the baby your last name so you will both have the same last name.

    Answer by ria7 at 4:11 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • maybe you can give her both of your last names.. Like yours-his or his-yours or yourshis or hisyours..

    If that is not something you want to do then not sure what else to say..

    Hope that helps.

    Answer by WifeandMommy06 at 4:12 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • When you deliver fill out the birth cerficate the way you want it. If he wants it changed he can hire an attorney and pay for it. You can contest the change if you don't want it changed to his name.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:12 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • this what i wud do tell him u all are not married so ur child is going to have ur last name !! and if things ever get better between yal and yal do marry yal will do a name change!!
    My bf wasnt there when my son was born but we got back toogether and he is almost 3 now and we just paid for a name change just waiting.. it was 400 dollars tho!! me and his father are not married but he takes care of him and we are toogether.... we are also expecting baby # 2 any min now .. lol.. and this lil boy will carry on his last name too!! but thats up 2 u !! its ur chocie!!

    Answer by ashley_nick30 at 4:12 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • SO and I are together but not married. what we did was use both our last names. mine then his. my last name is considered a middle name, except for on the birth certificate. day to day basis and on the ss card has his last name as the primary. but honestly even if he and I werent together I'd still have it this way, afterall the baby is 50% him. if he was a deadbeat (meaning was never around once he knew I was preggo, or was abusive and had to go...) I'd just use my last name.

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 4:13 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • It would be easier to give her your last name. I went through a whole bunch of shyt with my dd's father. I gave her his last name, because we had been together for so long and were getting married. But things didnt work out. One time he took her to the ER and made it so that I couldnt go be with her. The hopsital wouldnt let me back there cuz we didnt have the same last name. Even with me showing them my id, her b.c and insurance cards and with it being the same hospital I gave birth in, it took almost 2 hours.
    If later on, you two can be together and stay together, you always have the option of changing her last name to his.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • you should give your child YOUR last name but you can always hyphen it. I plan to someday marry my bf but even so im hyphening our babys last name (with MINE first) so it will be Warwick-Fanning and the baby will be able to choose later on what it wants to go by (and I always have the option to change it)

    Answer by hug4akiss at 4:47 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • My daughter has her fathers last name..i have no regrets even though we stopped talking and he wasnt involved in her life..his family was very involved and love her to death so i feel just fine with her having his last name. It has NEVER caused me any problems having a different last name as her and she feels connected to his family thru her name which is important to me

    Answer by girl_in_the_D at 4:53 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • My son has my last name. He does not have his fathers name. I did it because ti would be so much easier on me since I will be the main person caring for him. His father doesn't know that he does not have his last name yet and I am sure when he finds out that there will be a huge fight but the way I look at it is I am the mother and since he will be living with me on the east coast and not with his father on the west coast, what I say goes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • I was with my sons dad when he was born, thought we would end up married and all that jazz. Turns out, he was a terrible father and boyfriend... My son has his last name and it has just made my life complicated. Not terribly complicated, but I don't like being called Mrs. Lewis when the school and other things he is involved in contact me. I wish I had just given him my name.

    Answer by kitten_shuga at 6:56 PM on May. 4, 2009

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