Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you be upset?

I have been having a difficult time with postpartum depression and my husband ignoring me and acting like I don't exist. I finally got him to listen to me last night and I told him I felt so alone and that I really needed some time with him to connect with someone... anyone so I could actually feel like for a moment I exist. His mom has been harrassing him to come visit her (ugh dont even get me started) and seeing as I am not welcome over there I asked him to go a different day since I really needed him. He responded with "I wont be gone long" which we both know is a lie since its two hours alone just to go there and back. I am really hurt. Would you be?

Answer Question

Asked by humaniterian87 at 7:11 PM on May. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (13 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • wow, i know how you feel. it is lonely but rather than take it out on your husband right now - he did tell his mom he would come over - just give him the opportunity to make it up to you. do you have friends or family you can hang out with? you can holler at me anytime. i know its difficult to go thru that.

    Answer by pammd at 7:16 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • if your husband is generally supportive in other areas dont upset yourself as he probably doesnt know how or what to do to help you some men are hopeless do you not have a good friend to count on or your mum, maybe see your doctor, health visitor theres always someone to help

    Answer by niceandspice at 7:20 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • Yes of course! Been exactly where you are with a hubby who detached at the very moment I asked for help. Firstly, you need to know that this is not forever, you will feel better I PROMISE!! I ask (gently) if you are being realistic about the support you expect from him ---- I mean did he support you better in the past or are you just now realising that he has never actually supported you in the way you need. Are you getting treatment? One thing I found really helpful was talking to a counsellor. They aren't your friend or relative, so you don't have to worry about what they think of you. Happy to PM with you if you want to vent or chat privately.

    Answer by myheartx4 at 7:23 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • he has never really supported me he spent the better part of my pregnancy asleep and when I told him I was in labor he insisted I was being ridiculous he made me wait 3 hours to go to the hospital insiting i wasnt in labor and that he needed a nap only to discover I was 6 cm dialted, he went back to sleep while I was in labor and didn't bother to wake up until they have finished cutting open my abdomen adn sowing it back up. Thats just teh beginning he is an amazing father but a jerk of a husband

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 7:30 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • yup. I would be hurt too

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:45 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • You are doing an amazing job then, looking after your little one and trying to get on top of PPD. You will get through this, and maybe even find some energy to stand up for yourself. He's not treating you right, but you can't do anything about that right now. Are you getting treatment for PPD? This is your first Baby? and it is really normal to be teary and overwhelmed. Your life has taken a huge detour, Your body is still raging with pregnancy and post pregnancy hormones, there is too much conflicting advice for new mums on everything from how to feed, bathe, sleep, play with your baby. I remember being just paralysed with realising that "they" expected me to raise this little person with zero qualifications. But you CAN do this in spite of DH Trust yourself, and know that little guy doesn't care if he is only bathed once a week or wears the same jumpsuit for 3 days in a row, he just wants you to smile at him and cuddle him

    Answer by myheartx4 at 7:47 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • I dont believe that people need other people to make them happy. You should tell you husband to suck a fat one, and take you baby out and go visit friend and family and stuff. PPD is garbage, as is all depression. Its not your hubby's fault that you are depressed, you should push him aside and see what you can do that makes you happy. When you find out what you can do, you wont need anyone else, and you wont be depressed. Just make some friends, do things that make you happy. Ask you family to babysit, and go to spa woman!

    Answer by MammaBella at 8:28 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • His mom seems to be doing these things on purpose. I would be upset. You are his wife and mother of his child and you really need him right now. She is urting you and her grandchild when she tries to rule over your lives like that. You need to have a long talk with hima nd let him know how you feel.

    Answer by 5lilmonkiesmama at 8:31 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • reading that story about the labor part, wow! enough said! Thats great that he is a great father but he should be a great husband too. Or at least good husband i lke to stay positive on issues but u guys spend more time together or you should go out with your friends a bit more...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on May. 4, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.