Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

he is cheating on me with porn

well we never did have a good sexual relationship after we had the baby up till recently. The past three weeks I have be doing everything he has wanted, going down on him, positions he wants, fantasies etc. over all I am putting out more then before. I thought we were doing great until I found that he has been watching TONS of porn by himself and finishing himself off. Why is he doing this? Please do not bash I am honestly just wanting an answer to why my loving husband is getting so INTO porn all of a sudden.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on May. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (24)
  • First is it a PROBLEM??? Is it costing your family time or money? Or is this something he looks at when he is bored? I mean after all you have cafe mom he has porn.........OR is it more serious then this?? If it bothers you have your asked him to stop? Can he stop?
    I personally dont think porn is a big deal as long as it is not taking away from the family or costing you money.
    My hubby and I look at it together every now and again and we have done this for over 10 years now SO I NEVER listen to those porn HATERS that say it is addictive, for us it has not been. For us it is just something we look at once in a while....its kind of interesting......
    Why dont you make a porn with your hubby and tell him you want him to watch that from now on if you are not around.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:49 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • lookin at porn is not cheating. Banging some other chick is. your over reacting

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • he is denying me to be with porn. I have asked him for sex and I have tried to start it for the past week and he tells no he's tired or something but then gets up and watches porn instead later when im asleep.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:06 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • maybe you don't turn him on. Loose weight and start wearing makeup and doing your hair.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • To the first poster( it's not just porn haters that say porn is addictive it's the American Psychological Board of psychologists and psychiatrists). OP, I'm 100% against porn for many, many reasons but I'll focus on your situation. Any time a mate is going outside of the relationship (this includes porn) to fulfill a need that is suppose to be met within the relationship, it can and should be considered cheating. There are many women on here that will tell you as long as he's not physically having any kind of sex with another person then he's not cheating but those people don't realize that the BRAIN is the most powerful sex organ there is. Him wanting to try new things is probably coming from his porn viewing. I would suggest that you talk to him about this and let him know how you feel about him replacing you with porn. It can happen and it does happen.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:28 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • I love porn, and I dont see the problem with it. Having sex and watching people have sex is totally different. Masturbation is healthy whether you bang someone or not. I do it, theres nothing wrong with loving yourself. You should try it =)

    Answer by MammaBella at 8:31 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • I agree with legalmommy101.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • (original poster here) see ladies the funny thing about it all is I watch porn with him too. I am not fat I weigh 115 pounds and I do my makeup and hair just about all the time. Like i said, we were doing great then all of a sudden he is relying on porn to fullfil his needs even though I am meeting them. If the baby is up too late one night and we arent able to just not give him the ok to go and take care of himself with nasty porn with out my okay...its a relationship not a take care of your needs first thing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • Try watching it with him. Hubby and I have our momments where we will them together. Granted we never finish the movie lol. I think it's fine in moderation. But I would def suggest watching them together.

    Answer by Vanessannd at 8:48 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • Op, your man looking at porn has nothing to do with the way you look. Some of these ladies are stupid for believing one relates to the other. Did you see the news about Christie Brinkley (SUPERMODEL) and her hubby was addicted to porn? See even if you're a supermodel, it doesn't matter. The problem is with him not with you. He is going outside of the relationship to meet his needs. I'm willing to bet he has problems with intimacy and or he's just selfish or both. Men that would rather wack off to porn instead of be with their lovers have problems "making love". Porn just reinforces the idea that sex= orgasm, it doesn't teach people how to connect or be intimate with other people. But what can you expect from strangers having sex with strangers? Since you have watched it with him, you've opened the door to him only wanting an orgasm from viewing different chics without the intimacy.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:55 PM on May. 4, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.