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Is it bad?

I was reading some stuff about adoption. Im having a baby, and I dont think I would ever love an adopted child like I would my own. Does that make me horrible? I wont ever adopt because of this, and I realized this because I thought I couldnt have kids, and my SO always talked about, and one day, I was like, woah Im pregnant. Does anyone else feel the sameabout adoption?

 
MammaBella

Asked by MammaBella at 8:34 PM on May. 4, 2009 in Adoption

Level 2 (9 Credits)
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Answers (21)
  • I think you'd change your mind once you had them in your arms!
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 8:36 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • I haven't adopted but I do have 3 birth children & 2 step children. My steps are definitely MY children. I love them so much, just as much as I love my birth children. I can't imagine my life without them although I once felt as you did--that I would never want to adopt or accept step children. Then God gave me these amazing children & I've never looked back. I am adopted mysefl--in my case by my paternal aunt & uncle--and I can't imagine anyone loving me more than they did. They didn't plan on adopting me. I needed a home & they had one. Maybe adoption isn't right for you & only you can make that decision. But keep your heart & mind open because you never know when an amazing child is going to come into your life. Hugs!
    funnyface1204

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 8:38 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • I don't think I would have a problem but my DH always said that he thinks he would have a hard time adopting especially if the child looked nothing like us at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • I have a question for you, why is a pregnant teen even posting things like this. You thought you couldnt get pregnant.... you are a kid yourself. Someday when you are an adult you will understand why adults do things.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • I dont think that makes you horrible, but I do think you would change your mind. Love is love and wonderful free prescious gift. I have heard the question many times before and I think we think we just have this love for our own and that if another one (your own or whatever) that there would be no room but the heart is an amazing organ it just grows and gives and just loves. Love is love. God loved me enough to send his Son to die on a cross for me and Im not his birth child. so yeah I think you could love em just as much and no your not horrible for just thinking that. we are but mere humans. God bless you and your littles ones.
    debmom07

    Answer by debmom07 at 8:55 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • I think that there are plenty of others out there that feel the same way you do, some are not so
    honest about it like yourself.
    That is why is it SO Important for a couple who wants to adopt....
    That they BOTH want the baby.
    You hear women saying How can I get him to change his mind, or He says he doesn't want to adopt a child...what can I do...
    I commend you on your honesty.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 9:14 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • I find that many people engage in self-fulfilling prophecies. Once you've convinced yourself of a certain path, then you're set on it, no matter what. Since you know that you won't ever love a child that is not biologically your own, then you should not adopt. It's not fair to the child for you to "experiment" and see.

    Does it make you a bad person? No, certainly not. Not everyone is cut out to be an adoptive parent and all that comes with it. It's actually very good that you recognize that limitation within yourself. Everyone should make choices within their own limitations.
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 9:15 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • WHY are you worrying about this if you just a teenager, your mind can change a thousand times in the next 50 years. 

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • Once again, golf clap for you, OP! Thank you for weighing in on something you know absolutely NOTHING about.  As an adoptee, I can reassure you that my mom and my dad love me just as much as my sisters who happen to be genetically related to them.  And getting lucky because you had unprotected sex a few times and didn't get knocked up and thinking you "can't have babies" is kind of a douchey slap in the face to women who have real fertility issues, especially since you um...are seventeen and pregnant. 

    yogapantz

    Answer by yogapantz at 10:04 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • Anonymous 8:52 said "I have a question for you, why is a pregnant teen even posting things like this. You thought you couldnt get pregnant.... you are a kid yourself. Someday when you are an adult you will understand why adults do things."


    jwho made you judge and jury.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on May. 4, 2009

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