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I feel like a mean mom. I have to say no to my daughter a lot!

I have to say no to my daughter a lot! Like she is constantly getting into stuff and I swear she knows its not allowed but she tests me... Today she has been putting her fingers in the fish tank (GROSS), spitting her juice out on the floor, and shaking the computer table all while looking at me like she is doing it just to make me mad. I can only say no and put her in the naughty chair so many times before I lose patience. Today I put her in her room and let her sit in there and cry while i took a minute away. Am I mean for always saying no, and letting her cry like that??? I feel mean. I dont know what to do about her testing me though. How can I teach her right from wrong without feeling like a mean mommy. She is only 18 mos old... :(

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Asked by Mybblz at 10:56 PM on May. 4, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (14)
  • A swat on the butt might work.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • Get used to it. Sorry to say but you will be saying it a lot and probably for a long time too.

    My LO's seem to get into more trouble if they are bored. Take her on a walk or to the park. Play baby games with her, READ,Read, read to her. Play with finger puppets, hide and seek. Try keeping her occupied more and see if that helps.


    Answer by Nathskitten at 11:00 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • my daughter is 18 month i have done worse.. i have spray water on my daughter face if she crying for no reason
    i put my daughter in her crib for at less 15 mins if she is not listening or when i say no she still do it
    i know people say put her age for one min is not punishment. not going to follow
    i let her cool down in her crib
    you not being mean
    i let my daughter cry all the time when she is put in her crib.


    Answer by mommytobe24 at 11:04 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • be patient shes still a baby. Try postive words with the tell her shes a good girls when she does listen to you. also try redirection instead of saying no tell her here lets play with this instead of the fish tank (giving her a toy); make her clean-up the mess next time she spills.
    if she can't tell you what she did bad shes to young for time outs.
    Take the time to say one postive thing to her each time you must say I love u,good/ or smart girl, good job, i'm proud etc.

    Answer by maiahlynn at 11:06 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • I say no a lot, too. It doesn't make us bad parents, it makes us GOOD parents. We are guiding our kids in this life, and it all starts with:

    "NO! Fish water is yucky!"
    "NO! We don't stand on tables!"
    "NO! Don't touch! That's HOT!"
    "NO! Don't poke brother's eye!"
    "NO! Duckie doesn't go in the toilet!"

    and one day:

    "NO! You aren't going to that party! I know there's drinking there. I don't care what your friends can do, I'm not THEIR mother!"

    Answer by Mangy_Momma at 11:13 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • Are you mean? No. Are you a parent? Yes.
    She's not really doing it to make you mad. But she is doing it to see exactly what will happen. She's trying to figure out the rules.
    Time out and consitency are the keys to survivial. Good luck!

    Answer by kaycee14 at 11:52 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • Be careful and don't let her put her hands in her mouth with that fish tank. My husband almost died when he was little from putting his hands in his mouth after dipping them in a fish tank. He was in the hospital for months because that water has all types of chemicals and poop in it.

    Answer by Kristenn at 12:54 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • Lord knows I say No too much because it's hard to be FULLY ENGAGED the WHOLE time you're with your kids. I believe the less you have to tell your child no the better. The best advice I have is to constantly redirect. "We don't put our hands in the fish tank. It's very bad for us. Here's paper and a crayon, draw fishies" "We don't shake the desk because it could break. Here's a maraca to shake instead." When you are getting too stressed out, THAT'S the time to put her in her room and leave for a few for both of you to cool down. It's hard to be a mom. When I was a new mom, I thought the hardest part was when they were newborns. Not a chance. That's easy. Teaching them right from wrong every freakin 5 minutes over and over and over without punching the wall is the most difficult part. Probably gets worse when they're teenagers too, lol.

    Answer by kmingledorff at 1:25 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • She is testing her limits. I would give her warnings, like, "If you continue to do that you will be in time out." If she continues give her one more warning, "Next time you do that you will sit in time out" Next time she does it put her in time out set a timer for 1 min. Let her know what she is in time out for, then when she gets out of time out tell her again why she was there. If she continues the behavior continue giving her 1 min time outs. She will get the point and you won't have to keep saying NO. It worked with my 3 year old and still works today. He stops after my second warning because he knows what is coming. Just make sure you are consitant or it won't work. Try making it a positive. If you say, I am so glad you didn't do _____. And give her positive rewards. That will also help.

    Answer by Cassandra258 at 2:13 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • Oh and btw you are totally NOT a mean mommy! You are just a Mommy! Try my way and if it doesn't work try another way. You can go on the web or buy Nannny 911 book. i learn a lot from that.

    Answer by Cassandra258 at 2:14 AM on May. 5, 2009

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