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how and what were the signs that led you to belive you were in an abusive relationship....how did it start?

my SO just hit me across the face because i wanted to go to bed and was gathering the covers to go to sleep and he started nagging at me about how i dont need to be going to bed cuz he can only stay till ten so he wanted me to watch CSI with him and i said no... and grabed the covers from him and he hit me across my face.....he can be emotionally abusive but this is the first time he flat out hit me....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:15 AM on May. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • You answered your own question..... and YOU KNOW that it is abuse. The best advise I can give you is to do what I did... Leave him. FAST. Even if that was the only incident of physical abuse (which it WON'T BE) you deserve better than the emotional abuse... I heard it said once "Not everyone who is abused is lucky enough to be hit"... consider the slap in the face a lucky break and a WAKE UP CALL... run honey... run. Good Luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • If you put up with it it will only get worse--he crossed the line!!
    With my husband it was a gradual thing that he did progressively over the years, beginning with putting me and my family down and progressing to hitting my daughter in the face--for which he was arrested and I have not let him come back since. It has been a very big relief not having him here anymore and i will never go back to him now that I have had a chance to remember all the terrible things he has done to my kids and me.
    So if this is his first time and you don't make him accountable, he will continue to get progressively worse. Get him some help and make him ACCOUNTABLE for his abuse towards you.
    Aprilmorgans

    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 12:22 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • Well from what I have learned from my own life is mine got worse. And it started out with little things, then got worse.( I would have said it was uncalled for and wouldn't put up with it . It will VERY possibley get worse. ) chances are he'll come back and say how sorry he is and that he will never do anything like that again ..believe me i heard it all. ( even got to where i got roses at work the next day.. I didn't have to have bruises that showed girls at work knew that was the only reason he would send them . ) I would get out of the relationship. Look for some one that treats you right. ( there are good men out there ) Good luck
    Shaqbe4u

    Answer by Shaqbe4u at 12:28 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • You poor thing...mine was abusive from the minute it started...i was 18...he never let me ahve any friends used to tell me to hide if there was another pretty girl, try to make me give a BJ to his friends to see if I would, never let me talk to my mom...always came to where I worked, finally one night he hit me in the stomach and I thought that was it but no I stayed and he ended up raping me which was how I lost my virginity,lucky me, and I actually ended leaving town to go to school in another state to get away from him....he even found me up there and started sending me flowers and he was "so sorry" and all that shit...honey, you need to run and run fast and dont EVER look back...people like that end up dead a lot of the time. Not to scare you but they do. He will get you to believe that you're not good enough for anyone else to make you stay but that's bullshit!! Just get the hell out of there...You can PM me if you want..
    calliesmommie

    Answer by calliesmommie at 12:35 AM on May. 5, 2009


  • **Get him some help and make him ACCOUNTABLE for his abuse towards you. **

    F**k that...you just need to get out of there...DONT try to fix him, they never change.
    calliesmommie

    Answer by calliesmommie at 12:36 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • the afct it was somethign that small and he lost it.......
    leave now or it will get worse, much worse
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 1:07 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • Hon, I think you have already missed the signs.....it's is abuse now.....there's no turning back.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 1:11 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • you need to leave, because if he hit you once he will do it again; he may say sorry and how that will never happen again but he shouldve never let himself get so mad to that point in the first place. Especially over a stupid tv show!!!!
    Breezy1988

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 2:40 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • My abusive relationship started out with simple jealousy, then led to isolating me from my loved ones... unfortunately I failed to realize what was happening until he laid his hands on me. I didn't see it at the time, but the best advice I've ever been given was a simple, "If he hits you, then he does NOT love you"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:20 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • it starts with the emotional abuse and tends to escalate..if he is being emotionally abusive toward you, then its already started...and if he hit you once, he'll do it again...my ex hit me once because I tried to show him an ad in a sales circular..two weeks later he got pissed over what I cooked for dinner and threw me over the back of the couch...get help, get out...it never stops, never ends, only gets worse...I hope you can get help :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on May. 9, 2009

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