Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do women who have been abused by their kids dad,move on any advice.

he sees the children, on occasions,he still uses the visits as a way to bring me down,flaunting in their faces and mine how happy he is now, and calls me fat and ugly

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:33 AM on May. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I should have gotten counseling for myself a long time ago. I urge you to do that and at the very least involve your self in groups of your interests and your kids interests. There lots of free places to go to to share talents.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • well you should be happy you are away from that bastard. a man who can abuse a woman or a child is nothing but a coward and lacks a sense of self. i know it is hard to be around him to hear all of the abusive words he wants to call you. just let the words roll. at least he is not beating you physically anymore. i am not saying that verbal abuse is any better. but be lucky you made it out alive from an abusive relationship some women don't you should feel proud of yourself for protecting yourself and your children. i would also take away his visitation rights and make his ass suffer. who cares if he is happy, he probably isnt and is saying that to make you jealous. dont let him get to you anymore. be happy that you are away from him and now you can be by yourself free to make your own decisions and maybe find a man who loves, respects, and cherishes you as you are. good luck.

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 9:38 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • take your life back. Do not let your ex or kids say anything abusive to you. tell them "NO MORE" It is a day to day. Everyday you have to do something to make yourself strong. Do nice things for yourself. Go to a nice hair salon, they can show you how to do your makeup.
    Go to church and pray, that does help. Good Luck

    Answer by gammie at 9:43 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • He would not be welcome in my home if he disrespected me that way. You need to stand up to him and say that you're happy now, that his opinion doesn't matter to you and he can't hurt you anymore.
    If you have to, open the door to let the children in or out to go with him, and say nothing to each to each other.
    And be happy that he's not in your life every day now.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:45 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • If you get upset when he says those things, he got what he wanted.The best revenge is to move on and have a happy life.I think if you acted happy(even if your weren't), that would really upset him.Or quote bible verses at him and smile.Like "do unto others as you would have them do unto you"

    Answer by evelynwest at 10:27 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • My mother used to say never let a person know their words hurt you or they will continue to do it forever. You have to regain control of yourself when he's around. Each time you see him you give it back to him. You should know by now the purpose of his hurtful words. It's to keep you down or knock you down again and he laughs while he does it. Get in front of a mirror and learn to smile. Think of something pleasant and smile. Practice until you do it without thinking and smile when you are around him. If you are not happy then make yourself look happy and when he says mean things just laugh at him. Abusers try to project on us what they think about themselves. Remember that.. So HE thinks HE is fat and ugly. Don't accept his cruel words. You know what he is. Don't take anything he says personally. Plus if he were so happy he wouldn't feel the need to abuse anyone. That man is NOT happy. You just are believing his lies...again

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:43 AM on May. 5, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.