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Someone help me with this...

No matter what my husband says to me it makes me mad. I remember feeling this way with first husband too. Whatever he says to me, I just want to do the opposite. I feel like I am never good enough and he is just trying to get me to be a different person. I am who I am.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on May. 5, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I feel the exact same way!
    Please dont blame him! I did and you feel so terrible later.

    Just remind him that you need some compliments and kind sugestions not complaints and insults. Then it is up to you because in the end the way you take things is because of how you see yourself. You have to build up your self esteem instead of expecting and allowing others to do it!
    So something that will make you feel good about yourself; shopping, yoga, dieting, being with friends. The problem isnt how he is saying things, it is how you are hearing them.
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 3:45 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • The only thing i can say is that if he can't accept you for who you are then to hell with m=him. I'm sorry if that is really blunt but it's true. you should not have to change who you are for someone else. he knew who you were when you got married. you guys need to communicate or try couples therapy and try to salvage what you do have.
    2wndrfl_btrflys

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 3:37 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I know that I have to take a step back and look at myself before things get better for me. I've been doing some things in my marriage that have really helped so I made a group about it. Myself and 88 other wonderful Ladies are putting our heads together and getting phenomenal results! Check out SWWD...Create your fairy-tale romance!

    TessaBianca

    Answer by TessaBianca at 3:59 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Maybe I am taking it different than what you mean, but to me it sounds like it's you who has the issue. You said you felt this way with your first husband too. Maybe it's your way of pushing them away, or finding an excuse for divorce? You should not have to change who you are to make some one else happy. Maybe you should try counseling yourself. If you want this marriage to work, then do couples counseling as well. If this marriage doesn't work, maybe think twice before you get married again. Make sure this person knows you, and accepts you? But unless you are happy with you, you will not be happy with anybody. GL
    Angel8203

    Answer by Angel8203 at 4:03 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I had to divorce two perfectly good men over them trying to change me. I like me just the way I am and I am not going to change for some man. As a matter of fact, one husband said "you're not the woman I married". Heck no, bc he tried for years to change me and I tried to comply thinking that is what he wanted. When I became what he said he wanted he didn't really want that either! So I went back to being me and am living happily ever after.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:26 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Like TessaBianca said, you have to take a step back and really look at the big picture here. Could it be that you are taking things he says as criticisms when they actually aren't? I used to feel this way with DH too. He used to be constantly correcting me...or at least that was the way I was looking at it, until I realized he was just trying to be helpful!!! Yes, believe it or not, when men correct us or criticize us, in most cases they believe they are helping! :)
    You're right, you shouldn't HAVE to change who you are...but you definitely can't change your relationship by making demands or getting angry. Work on being the best wife and person you can be...and he will have to step it up as a husband to keep up with you.
    moniquinha

    Answer by moniquinha at 4:33 PM on May. 5, 2009

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