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Be honest: Was it harder than you expected?

I waited until I finished school, was married, and had all my ducks in a row to have my first child. Throughout my pregnancy I only ever worried about her health. I had no idea how tough raising her would be! She cries all the time and there have been days I just want to get out! At 2 mos. it's getting A LOT easier but this motherhood thing is waaaayy harder than I thought it'd be! I'm not depressed, just stressed and overwhelmed at times. How do ppl. have more than 1 and survive? If you're a first-time mom, is it harder than you expected? Just wanna know I'm not the only one who feels overwhelmed.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on May. 5, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (48)
  • well if anyone says no to this question i think they are crazy. motherhood is not easy and that is why this website is here. any time you have a question or want to vent we are here. i would have added you to my friends but you wrote anonymously. It will get easier but it won't be easy all the time. you will have your days where you just don't want to be around your daughter and that is perfectly normal and no that does not mean you are depressed. it means you are a mother. Mothers are not perfect and anyone who thinks they are the perfect parent then they need counseling. lol

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 4:03 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • i'm a 1st timer. my son recently turned 1. oh yeah it was very hard! "why's he crying? am I not producing enough milk? why hasnt he rolled friend's baby already did..." ya know? stuff like that. we also went through a tough time medically. he's tiny and behind in the weight chart. the dr had him do bloodtests and his liver enymes were high, so we had to deal with specialists, lots of traveling and lots of tests to find what was wrong with him. but all the tests were negative and he is ganing weight, slowly, but he is gaining weight. so they finally closed the file on him.

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 4:05 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • It all just came natural to me, and unlike you, my ducks were not only "not in a row" but nowhere to be found. While pregnant I got a job, purchased a new car, and a house. He really is the reason that I have everything that I do today and I love spending time making him smile. Just wait, if you're feeling a little detached right now, once you see your babies smile you fall completely in love with that pooping/crying machine that you gave birth to. :]

    Answer by ours at 4:05 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I went in with no expectations, and having worked in a day care with babies. I didn't know what to expect and I was lucky with a baby that loved to sleep. And of course, I had my days when all I watned was to through her at the wall or drop off with hubby, nieghbor, random stranger on street corner so I could have just a few minutes of peace! But it gets better and worse at the same time. Things will calm down as you get used to things and baby become less phsycially demanded as she gets older. My dd is 2 and it's still hard. She will play be herself and help with stuff, but I still need to make sure she doesn't bite the dog or remind her the dog isn't a horsy and she can't ride him. She has tantroms and screams and cries b/c she wanted to eat the apple whole instead of cut into pieces but then cries b/c she can't eat it whole. :)

    Just take a breath, look at that beautiful life and know it's worth it all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I have 4 and yes it is a challenge! go to and order the OUR DAILY BREAD to give you some encouragement every day!

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 4:09 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • But trust me, EVERY mom still likes to feel like she's her own person. It's perfectly normal to want your alone time. Whenever my son takes a nap I either sleep (now that I'm pregnant again), read, or get the house picked up a little. Remember though, if you ever feel like you just can't take it anymore, have someone watch your baby and don't feel guilty, we all feel that way sometimes.

    Answer by ours at 4:10 PM on May. 5, 2009


    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 4:11 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • yes put baby in his crib and let him cry if U !!!just need a time out!!! That is what my Grandma used to say and she had many foster babies and 5 kids!

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 4:13 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Actually, with three kids (ages 5, 3, and 1), there is more work, but they also are able to amuse each other, so I'm not the only person who can give them interaction. I can't wait until they get just a bit older and start helping with chores!

    My sister-in-law has four kids and one summer their teens made dinner for us and the pre-teens amused the littler ones. Meanwhile the adults were able to relax and talk. It was heavenly! I want to raise my kids to contribute to our family and the lives of others like that, rather than running myself ragged for 18 years.

    Answer by 3are_a_blessing at 4:19 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I think every mother feels te way you do at first. Yes its mostly hard not because of the things you have to do but that you dont know what to do. The reason people survive more than one child is that by the time you have your second you are a little more familiar with all the things babies need. Of course they throw you curveballs. My dd was absolutly nothing like my ds and it took me some time to get her figured out. If your baby seems to be crying unconsolably than it really could be colic. I started using mylicon and we finally started to get some rest around here. She could be having some issues with her formula if your formula feeding. You could try switching to a gentler like enfamil gentle-ease or similac sensitive. and dont forget mommy time once a week if you can get a relative or a babysitter to watch baby while you go out or just get some uninterupted sleep. Good luck to you and your baby.

    Answer by SaturnsMom at 4:24 PM on May. 5, 2009

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