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am i just a bitch?

So I already had a really nice creative plan for Mothers Day for my MIL, and it was great cuz it didnt cost a lot but a there was a lot of thought and love put into it. Then last night I was going thru my DH's texts (he doesnt care) and his mom had sent him a test saying "idea for mothers day is hanging flower basket or..." i can t even remember what it is. so is that rude? She does it for her birthday too..every year? Its nto like we ask or anything. I guess my thoughts are that gifts should be what the person wants to give the receiver... and to be honest, i normally dot even get anythign for mothers day from DH, but we have spent over $100 in the past cuz we have 2 mom's and 2 stepmoms! anyway...am i jsut way to sensitive or is that rude?

 
RhiannonHunt

Asked by RhiannonHunt at 6:13 PM on May. 5, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 3 (18 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I have similar issues, and no, you're not being rude, you're a mom too and you should get to be celebrated when it's your turn. Your mom and MIL get to celebrate Grandparents' day, you don't... that should be their day, and Mother's Day should be yours, IMO. That doesn't mean you can't get them cards and gifts, but YOU should get to do what YOU want to do... that's how I feel. GL. Happy Mother's Day!
    BisketLiss

    Answer by BisketLiss at 6:18 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • i don't think it's rude.
    MoMmY2APrince85

    Answer by MoMmY2APrince85 at 6:15 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • i think each family has their own way of doing things. and obviously in theirs mom tells the kids what she wants. its probably just an old habit from when they were younger and would ask her what she wants. i would still go with what you planned on doing for her though, just b/c she gave suggestions doesn't mean thats what she has to get, thats why they are suggestions, if she says anything about not getting what she asked for than that i would consider rude.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 6:17 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • She is trying to have any money spent, spent on something she actually wants instead of something she may have no use for, not that what you chose would be like that, of course. If you don't want to get what she suggests, I believe that you would not need to. My sons ask me for suggestions when they are giving me gifts, which sadly does not include Mothers Day.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:18 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I can totally understand where you're coming from because my mom will just come out of nowhere and give me ideas for her birthday, Christmas, whatever! Her feeling is she'd rather get something she wants or needs instead of something she won't use. I understand that, but like you say, sometimes it's nice to just be abe to buy without worrying you're not getting the "right" thing. I'm sure she doesn't mean any harm by it and at least a hanging basket is pretty inexpensive :o)
    TylersMama05

    Answer by TylersMama05 at 6:21 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • My MIL does the same thing - offers up suggestions w/out even being asked. others are right - it's just different. my family we don't do that - we don't EXPECT. DH's family - they do. It can be annoying - & especially when you've already put your heart & effort into your own idea. But remember - she doesn't mean it rudely - so try not to take offense. Still give her what you were planning on, and she should be grateful it's something from you and not the easy way out of flowers. I SO AGREE with BisketLiss!! DH and his bro are all concerned about what to do for their mom and I'm like - HELLO?!!! Plus they forget I have a mom too that I'd like to celebrate!
    mysweetJBs

    Answer by mysweetJBs at 6:22 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • It bugs the shit outta me too The hinting and then the " Oh last year your brother got me ( what ever it was was better than my gift ) " I also want to know, where are the cards that say you were an adequate mom ? Sorry but those hallmarks make a liar outta me every time ! Ha ha you aren't the Bitch I must be.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Too funny!! it's a baby boomer thing I'm sure! They don't want you to waste money on something they don't want... Although the idea that the gift is about you not the receiver is a bit odd? I mean if your hubby gave you a fishing rod instead of scrapbook supplies because that's what he wanted to give you, would you agree or would you think.."but that's not what I would want" Just a little thought there.
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 6:29 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I think this is a stupid question i shouldnt have answerd it,


    But yeah ...its not rude.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I think that's highly rude! I can't imagine anyone in my family coming out and saying that, it's just greedy.
    lynnseyfaye

    Answer by lynnseyfaye at 6:44 PM on May. 5, 2009

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