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My 3 year old has major security issues.

She is scared of everyone and everything and always clings to the person she is with. She has been this way ever since she was born. Any advice on this?

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Asked by beyanca at 7:53 PM on May. 5, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (7)
  • Does she interact well with you or one other child? Will she play with you? No daycare I take it? She may just need to be socialized a little more, parks, public places, child classes for her age group where you are also a participant or gymnastics or something? She needs some confidence building it sounds like.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:19 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Have you talked to her doctor? Seperation anxiety to this degree, at this age, is not normal - as you know. Since school is looming in her future, I'd talk to her doctor and see what he says. If he's no help, find a family or pediatric therapist.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 10:22 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • i used to work at a day care and their were little girls like 3-5 that would hang on to their parents and hide behind them and once the kid found out they were leaving they ould cry and cry or just try to hide behind them, but its just a phase of being shy or their are just not use to being around other people. what one of the people i was working with was telling me if you kid grows up just being with the parents all the time like not family friends or anythingthey get really attatache and dont know what it is like to have communication with others. but many of the kids i have worked with got over it quick. i would say(if you have time) take her to a park and let her play with kids her age so she can get use to other kids being around, even though you will have to most likely have to go play with them also, but it would really help them open up more to others.

    Answer by casslynn09 at 2:19 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • I too suffer with this. My little girl just turned 3 in March of this year and she is afraid of the sound of cars and trucks and hangs onto my leg whenever we go out to stores. She is less frightened with children and is quicker to go them than adults. I worked at home before I was laid off and is still at home, so no she doesnot get out alot. She also started at a very early age. I am thinking that once she gets into daycare, it will subside but I fear that the caregivers will get frustrated with her.

    Answer by onLineTNmom at 9:52 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • Sensitivity to loud noises and strangers at this age is normal for some kids. 2 out of my 5 had this issue. They were absolutely terrified of loud noises and people they didn't know. Happily they both outgrew this in their own time. I say if they want to cling let em. They are only little once.

    Answer by salexander at 11:43 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • she goes to a mothers day out program 2 days a week for a few hours. getting her used to that was something else. if her normal teacher is not in class and someone is substituting she pretty much cries the whole time. she is also in a dance class once a week. and around other kids she is very shy, it takes her about 30 minutes to actually warm up to them and not have me playing in the room with them. I do admit that she is mostly around family all the time. my mother in law keeps her while i work. they do go to the park about once a week and play with other kids, but like i said she has a very long warming up period. She is going to start a new preschool this fall that is 4 days a week and most of the day. I know that she is not going to handle that well at all. she does not adapt to change. she is VERY rountine oriented. i talk with her about this all the time but i do not think that she understands.

    Answer by beyanca at 11:58 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • Reading your last post, I would definitely talk to a child therapist. He may have activities and games you (and your MIL) can play with her that will help her shorten her "warm up time". Just because something is "normal" or lots of people are similar, doesn't mean it's not a difficulty for her. If playing some games now, working with her to overcome or minimize this fear now, will help her in the years to come, isn't it worth it?
    If at all possible, I'd also take time off from work in the fall when she starts school so you can go with her. You or your MIL should take her to the classroom many times before school starts, letting her get used to it, see where everything is, use the bathrooms, meet the teachers, etc.  Even see if you can get a copy of their daily schedule and get your MIL to try to follow it at  home.


    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:23 PM on May. 6, 2009

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