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How to get my friend off my Dh?

My Dh and I have a group of friends that are couples that we regularly hang out with on Saturday nights. One couple we have been friends with for a couple years now and we switch between coming over to each others houses, or maybe going out to a restaurant or something similar. About a month ago, we were over at their house and my friend was showing me her closet remodel, and I saw that on one of the shelves was several pictures of my husband with his shirt off! My husband does modeling and catalog work for a living. She shrugged it off and said she thought he was hot. I felt uncomfortable.
Now since that day she has been flirtaous with him, and making suggestive comments and trying to sit in his lap when we are all together, I am wondering if I am making too big of a deal out of this , we have always enjoyed their company, but now I really don't want to hang out with them.

Am I overreacting? What should I do?


Asked by WishyClarkson at 7:54 PM on May. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Level 9 (305 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • You should put your foot down and she opened the door when she laid out those pic's for you to see. You should have then (and I realize I'm more blunt than most so understand why you couldn't have) reminded her that he's your man in a polite way, she sounds stupid enough to have taken your passive personality as a consent to continue and step up her game... remind her it isn't alright. Next time she makes a move, politely remind her of this, and that you don't feel her actions are appropriate, do let your spouse know what is coming so he is in on your plans and not taken for any loops if this "friend" (which btw poor friend if that's what she's doing to your husband), decides to get defensive and you two are forced to leave and never come back, or forced kick them out if they're over at your place. I'm sorry but there are limits and your "friend" is pushing it way past most married couples limits, good luck.

    Answer by Knightquester at 9:03 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • No you are not overracting. How disrespectful of her. Real friends don't disrespect eachother. Stop hanging out with her for awhile and when she asks why... tell her!

    Answer by mamaada at 7:56 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • no you are not overreacting
    it is VERY inapropriate!!!!
    tell her if she cant respect boundries then to find new friends

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 7:56 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Um no I don't think you are overreacting. She is collecting pictures of him with his shirt off? That's a little stalkerish creepy sounding to me. And if she is making comments about being sexual or flirty with him that is another red flag. There are people out there who get arise out of trying to get men that they know are unavailble. And I can't imagine that her husband is okay with her collecting pictures of your DH and saying those comments to him. If you want to continue hanging out with her, I would just make it the 2 of you.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 7:57 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • No, you are not overreacting. Keep your eye on her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • No hon, you are not overreacting one bit. I agree with Ash, she's very disrespectful and seems like one of those women who get a thrill off chasing unavailable men. And her trying to sit in his lap? Honey you have so much more patience than I do, because I'd have beaten her down. :] Have you and DH talked about this? And I'd suggest staying away from her.

    Answer by KareemsMami at 8:00 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Personally, I think your husband should be the one to say something to her. If that doesn't work, then you can try. If it were me though, I'd just quit hanging out w/ her altogether. She doesn't sound like someone you can trust and obviously doesn't respect your marriage (or hers for that matter).


    Answer by dannydawna at 8:00 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Well I would just give it to her straight and put her in her place. I think that is crazy. I would be mind boggled. I can't believe that anyone else has not said anything. I would be furious. You are not overreacting.

    Answer by akmami0f4 at 8:01 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Stop all contact with her and if shes asks why tell her. What does her hubby have to say about the pictures? She is disrespecting you and your DH and her hubby. She also has no respect for herself if shes all over your hubby. What does your Hubby have to say about this?? YOU ARE SO NOT OVER REACTING she is disrespecting all of the above.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Wow you are a very patient person. I would have grabbed her before she even had the chance to sit down on my huband's lap. Sounds like she might have a little crushy crush on your husband and if she has no problem saying and doing these things in front of you, who knows what she'd do if you weren't around. I'd try to get your husband to say something to her first so that she knows right off the bat that whatever she's trying to pull isn't going to work. And as for hanging out with her anymore...I'd stop. Real friends don't act that way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:05 PM on May. 5, 2009