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I need advice for my sister in law. She is 4 months prego. They live on a farm with his parents. He farms with his dad so spends all day pretty much with him.

He also spends a lot of time always going in his parents house to grab food or chit chat with his family. Usually while she is at work. She has told him that it bothers her that he goes there so often. She wants advice from me on how to in her words "wean" him from his parents home and get him to come to their home that will soon be blessed with a child. Asking for suggestions to tell her?? By the way, when she tells him it bothers her he says" fuck you bitch" "if you don't like it leave" "grow up".

 
Ambie0526

Asked by Ambie0526 at 8:05 PM on May. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,562 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I think she's being a little too dramatic. And yes, a little immature.

    There is no reason why it should bother her that he goes over there often. He's seeing his family, not out drinking or cheating on her.

    Of course he's going to stop in a chit chat with his parents and eat with them while she's at work. What is waiting for him at home? Nothing.

    Why can't she go with him while she's at home? Heck, I bet her IL's would cook for her a couple of nights a week. :)

    It's an immature way of thinking that he should stop spending time with his family and paying attention to her, even when she's not there. When it comes down to it family is the most important thing on earth.

    As for the way he speaks to her, it's not okay, and she needs to stand up for herself and tell him that it's not acceptale.

    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 10:26 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • They don't live together, there is two houses on the farm. By the way. Lol.
    Ambie0526

    Answer by Ambie0526 at 8:06 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • She also is a very insecure and jealous person. So I'm not sure that it's completely his fault either. But she shouldn't put up with what he says.
    Ambie0526

    Answer by Ambie0526 at 8:07 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • That would send warning signals to me, if he talks to her like that, I would honestly be worried that that could lead to verbal/physical abuse in the near future. Maybe she should pack up and live and stay with family for a couple weeks, and basically give him a taste of his own medicine so to speak.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Not to be rude, but she knew that walking in. She knew he worked with his parents and is close to them. The only reason it bothers her is that she thinks he should be spending his time while he is away from her thinking about her. Life doesn't work like that. He may be too close to his family, but she isn't going to change that. She should either...suck it up or move out. I also believe that how he is speaking to her is abusive, but how is she speaking to him?
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 8:18 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I would tell her to really look at the whole picture theres a child on the way ,they don't live together, and he sounds like he don't give two shits about her nor how she feels. I would leave hes ass in a minute no one talks to me like that. She needs to grow some balls and speak her mind.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 8:19 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • No seriously I want opinions, i don't care if it's offensive. Thanks. They only got married in Aug. I don't know how she speaks back, i only hear her side. I know he didn't purpose right away after he got the ring (don't know why) and she didn't pick a date for quite a while b/c she wasn't sure if she should marry him or not.
    Ambie0526

    Answer by Ambie0526 at 8:21 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • as far as him spending time with his family while she is at work, he works with his dad, if he runs into his parents house to say hi, grab food or use the restroom and shes not even home i don't think that should bother her, if she will not be working after having baby, maybe she could suggest him and his dad do lunch at their house when shes home that way he gets to spend some time with baby, but he doesn't feel like shes trying to get rid of his parents. they do live on his parents property so she has to expect some influence and time spent with his family. as far as the way he speaks to her, i'd take him at his word and walk out the door. i'd go stay with a friend or family member for a week or so and see if that works. does his father act like that towards his mother? if not and she is close to his mother, she could maybe just in a roundabout way bring it up and maybe mom will say something to him about it. CONT
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 8:34 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • but if they just recently got married and they are about to have a baby, i would definately not be in that situation. if its a boy does she want her son to treat women like that? he will if thats what he hears on a reg basis, same with a girl, she'll think its acceptable for a man to speak to her like that when she gets older. i think thats just asking to raise your kids in an unsafe, unfair enviornment
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 8:35 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • What did she think when she married him and moved on the farm with the fam? Didn't that cross her mind? It sounds like she is just going to be his sperm dumpster, maid, nanny and cook. She can deal with it (accept it) or leave. That's about it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:36 PM on May. 5, 2009

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