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so me and my husband have decided to be friends but we will never be intimate again.I just feel like I need a man in my life so i am saddened-does sex really mean that much to a woman?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:32 PM on May. 5, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • To me, sex is an important part of a marriage. It's not just a physical bond, but an emotional one. If your relationship can continue working, then more power to you.. Only you and your spouse can know what's best for the 2 of you.

    Answer by CrazyKnitastic at 11:38 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • why on earth would you and your hubs make such an agreement??

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:33 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • sometimes but intimacy means a lot more. Ask him what you are supposed to do about sex and intimacy if you two aren't going to go there.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:33 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • It means that much to me! If (for whatever reason?) DH and I decided to stay "married" but not have sex, then I would DEFINITLY need to have sex with someone else! But really, if you are not having sex and 'just friends' then why not go ahead and make it offical and be free to find someone who is a friend AND you can have sex with (aka a new DH)?

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 8:42 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I don't know what has happened in your relationship to make you get to this point but in my opinion instead of agreeing to no more sex ever again you should just maybe put it on hold until you can get the romance/spark back in your marriage. Dating again is a good start. But again, I don't know the back story or why you came to this conclusion so if this doesn't apply just ignore it.

    Answer by mommabear2008 at 8:43 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Uh... not so much. If there's no intimacy in your marriage (sex or otherwise) then you are seriously lacking. If that's the issue then you would be better off to divorce and go your separate ways so that each of you CAN find what it is that you are looking for out of a mate. To sit here and say that is what you are going to do quite frankly makes me call bullshit.

    Answer by paralegalmommy at 9:10 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • To above poster.. why bullshit? MANY, MANY Married Couples have come to the same arrangement over the Years.. However sad it is! Alot of times people put their kids/family first and stay married for that reason alone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Staying in an unfulfilling relationship is NOT putting your kids or family first. Sorry, but that's my opinion. Part of raising healthy children is giving them the example of a healthy, affectionate, and loving marriage. If that's not what you have, then imo it's better to go your separate ways and find relationships that you can set that example with. Sex is part of a loving marriage...with this arrangement you will be living a lie, and kids can see right through that.
    You have to take good care of yourself, before you can take good care of others.

    Answer by moniquinha at 9:38 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Children learn what they live, I so agree with Moniquinha, you have to teach them how to treat people and if it's not healthy what do you think your children are going to grow up and have? It's so unfair for all of you, I think you seriously need to rethink this..

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:47 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I also agree, many people have done this, separated, friendship to remain civil, for their family.

    Some marriages can not afford living apart because of the expenses or because of one parent working. So they remain together to take care of the household, but remain friends and civil so that not to cause a bad vibe in the home.

    Kids can sense a tension between two parents.

    Also, sex is boring if there is no intimacy or love. Without that it is just meaningless sex.

    Usually when this agreement is made the couple ends of getting back together after finding that spark they had, or they determine to stay apart.

    Answer by mika4576 at 11:12 AM on May. 7, 2009