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Do you feel like you belong on cafemom?

This question is more for birth mothers... but anyone can answer! Just no RUDE ones please!

Do you ever feel like you belong on cafemom considering some of us don't have other children besides the ones we relinquished?

I would love to join other groups, but I hesitate because I don't consider myself a parent. I don't want someone to start asking about my kid(s), or even really viewing my profile, and then have to have it get all awkward...

Do any of you feel this way?

Answer Question

Asked by rainfalls at 9:23 PM on May. 5, 2009 in Adoption

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • If you had a child your still a mother so why not be on the sight to meet other mothers who gave up their kids or who adopted someones child. You belong just as much as teenage mothers, unwed mothers and mothers of babies who have passed away.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 9:24 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Nope.. I think you are putting way too much thought into this. It's an internet forum type atmosphere. I hang out on a guy's forum as well... Do I belong there? Who cares... It's fun. You can make your profile totally private if you'd like... Not a big deal.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I am in groups for birth mothers.. I met anything OUTSIDE of adoption.

    I don't believe I'm putting too much thought into it.. I just don't want to constantly have to answer question's regarding my son. It's a sensitive subject. So maybe I answered my own question...

    Answer by rainfalls at 9:29 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Sites for men, huh?

    I would be bothered if there were males on here....

    Answer by rainfalls at 9:29 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I have to honestly say if I didnt have other kids I would probably feel awkward being here (that' s just me though) If you feel ok with it, then I dont see why you should be someone already mentioned you are a mother too.

    Answer by lisa89j at 10:05 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I would have never even thought of that. Just because Mom is in the title of Cafemom. it doesnt mean it is only for moms.
    Obviously from the large amount of time that you spend on here discussing being a bmom, it is something that you need a lot of support so I think you should stay on for that piece and then just lock your profile if you are joining other groups that you dont want to share that side of your life with.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • I think that anyone can belong to this site and if you consider yourself a mother and a parent then that is all that matters. Or at least you have found a place where you can discuss and issue that is important to you. But I did see a post on here where you said you only liked those posts you agree with. So I'm wondering if you just need the support or if you really do care to have an intelligent back and forth.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • Rainfalls, in this site you have found other moms who were in similar situations as you were, that relinquished their babies to their own parents because that was what was "best at the time". You are able to have friends here that truly understand exactly what you are going thru. I can only imagine from your posts, but there are others who can support you in ways your other friends and family cannot. The fact that adoption is so near and dear to your own heart is because of the experiences you have had. You have as much right to belong to CafeMom because you are a parent as any other mother dealing with parenting issues. You are having to parent your child by allowing him to be parented by your parents. (Whew! Would that be hard, yes!) This is a unique situation not experienced by all, but your worries, fears, and joys are welcomed and encouraged on CafeMom. (at least by me.) Have a great day!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 11:12 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • If this forum only had "mom" related groups - I would feel akward too.
    But I've searched, and there are groups here for all kinds of activities and hobbies.
    You can find groups for cooking, clipping coupons, photography, home businesses, gardening, budgeting, religion, debate.

    I'm in a few of those 'other' groups & typically the women are in the group for that hobbie & focus on that activity. I'm not comfortable in a group about parenting, nor a group that hits the children subject every other day.

    Search for a group w/ a hobby you like -heck maybe there's one about fav movies? or something like that? If you don't find a group that interests you - start one!

    It's about bonding w/in your group. Reach out & have fun!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I really don't think it matters. I think people who are hoping to be moms, either trying to get pregnant or hoping to adopt should be here too. Anything that can help you prepare has to be a good thing. If anyone tells you that you don't belong are the one's that probably shouldn't be here. Besides, if someone questions you about your motherhood then it's your opportunity to educate. Although I do remember you got burned by that one woman who was so horrible to you. It was my pleasure to delete her :D


    Answer by onethentwins at 2:25 PM on May. 6, 2009

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