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How can I get my 18mo old son to accept my new 3 week old daughter

My son Jayden is 18 mo and he is struggling to accept my new baby Keira. When I hold her up to him he pushes her away and doesn't really want anything to do with her.

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Asked by sweetbabysmama at 11:00 PM on May. 5, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (6)
  • You just have to have patience and don't force it. It has to be hard because he is still a baby himself, doesn't quite understand who this little baby is and what they are doing at his house, and why mommy is cuddling her so much. LOL. It will take time, but soon enough he will accept her, just give him a little time...

    Answer by pamelajqs at 11:02 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • at that age, he'd probably like to be able to help, "can you bring the baby a diaper?" "can you give her a kiss on the head?" "can you help me gently pat her back?" things like that. try and keep him involved. have him sit on your lap at the same time. give him plenty of attention, so he doesn't feel like he's being replaced

    Answer by llansky at 11:03 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Get him involved in things you do with her. Changing, feeding, burping and playing and refer to him as big brother and her as little sister.

    Answer by Alysia_Moore at 11:04 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • My youngest are 18 months apart too.
    First don't push her on him. Let him be the one who decides when he is ready to get to know her. We always called the new baby HIS baby. He loved that. We also had a baby doll for him to take care of when we had to help the baby. He also helped us with the baby. When I would change a diaper he would hold baby's hand or get the wipes or throw away the diaper. When it was time to nurse the baby he would climb up and cuddle too. We made sure he still had time with mommy and daddy separately away from the baby. Even if it was just while the baby was sleeping.
    Good Luck Momma. You are in for a wonderful wild ride.

    Answer by Nathskitten at 11:06 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • did you baby him before she was born? always hold him when he cried, ran to him when he got hurt, ect? if so, maybe that's why he's struggling, he thinks he's the baby. my kids are 16 months apart. i tried to tell him while i was pregnant that i had a baby inside me, but he never wanted to listen, if i tried to sit down with him and talk to him, he's push away and go play. so i was worried. come to find out he loved her to death and even held her while visiting us in the hospital. (daddy at his side of course) i had taught him to be independant, he doesn't need me to be there every second of the day, he does things on his own, like put himself to sleep, play by himself, ect. so i guess he figured out that she was ok, and he loved to help me with her. put the diaper in the trash, get her a toy, ect. just have him help you with her and he'll warm up. and make sure you have play time with him too, so he doesn't feel left out

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I should add, no matter how much you older one loves the new baby, never leave them alone together. Even for a minute. They sometimes love the baby so much that they can try to hug them and end up really hurting the baby. Just a friendly piece of advice.

    Answer by Nathskitten at 11:39 PM on May. 5, 2009

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