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Assume or not assume?

I found out today that my grandma is laying in a hospital bed 1000 miles away dying. She has 3 broken ribs, pneumonia, had a heart attack and possibly has lung cancer. My heart is absolutely broken and my mom could care less. Theres been accusations flying around for years that my grandpa (who isn't her bio-dad) molested me yet I don't remember it. My mom says my grandma is getting what she deserves and shes going to rot in hell for letting that happen to me and for treating her how she did when she was growing up. I don't know what I can do to make her understand that this is her mom and shes dying and my mom needs to let go of the BS & go see her.I want too but I have no money to get down there.
Now when I told my SO, all he had to say was "thats F'ed Up".I've been upset and he just sat and played video games til I told him to leave. Should I assume he doesn't care? Because thats definately the way I'm taking it right no

 
Marix3

Asked by Marix3 at 11:38 PM on May. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,755 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • wow taht is a horrible thing to have to go threw and have to take in for you!!!! i would say your husband is being insensitive and an ass from how you said it! i hope you and your granny the best of luck!!!!
    ashleystoner86

    Answer by ashleystoner86 at 11:52 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • It seems that way, he should definitely be more sensitive to your feelings!!! I'm sorry for what you are going through!
    pamelajqs

    Answer by pamelajqs at 11:45 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Don't assume anything. You have to understand that different people deal with death differently. Right now your mom is angry, because that's the only way she knows how to buffer herself from the hurt of losing her mother. Your SO should be being a little more sympathetic for sure, but unless he was very close with your grandmother he probably doesn't have a whole lot of personal feelings wrapped up in this. He should be there for you, but don't expect him to feel your pain. He should hurt that you're hurting, but not because your grandmother is dying.

    Make sense?
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:46 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • SO dont understand so please dont expect him to rise to the occasion and pour his heart out. Your mom is wrong for accusing people when nobody knows what happened and to blame her mother is wrong to. The only person to blame in that case would be the grandfather. You do not remember it they SHOULD NOT be pushing such drama. My brother molested me and whenever someone mentions his name I cringe. To have nothing happen and people dwell on it is ridiculous. If it did its in the past you are not affected at all. Tell your mom all of this. She is dying it should be in the past just to tell her mom that she still loves her before she regrets it FOREVER.
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 11:47 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I'm just saying..when I love someone, I comfort them when they cry. Not sit and continue playing my video game like the girl carrying your child isn't going threw a really hard time.
    Marix3

    Answer by Marix3 at 11:53 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • I'm sorry that's happening...Don't assume he doesn't care. I'm sure he cares, but guys don't usually know how to console a girl when they're upset with things like that. My husband was kinda like that (kinda like whatever life goes on) when my grandpa died.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • I sent him a message on myspace telling him before i assume i want to know if he cares and that i know i didnt directly TELL HIM to comfort me but i asked him to lay with me and let me talk to him because i cant talk to anyone else about it and he just kept playing his stupid game..he read it, never answered it..thats all i needed to know, that he really DOESN'T care..if he cant comfort me threw this, how can I ever expect him to be there threw anything else? I'm at the breaking point and I'm considering leaving him..its sad but oh well..i need a man who loves and cares for me..
    Marix3

    Answer by Marix3 at 12:56 AM on May. 6, 2009