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What do you do when...

You SO doesnt support you in a life long goal? I have been working towards becoming a firefighter since I was 10, I knew that was what I wanted to do with my life. Now I am 21, Im in great pysical shape, and Im ready to get out there and start living my dream. Well tonight I brought it up to my fiance, who has known since we met that this is what I want, and he now proceeds to tell me that it is a stupid thing to want to waste my time on, Im selfish for wanting to do such a thing, and he does not support me in my decision...wtf?! What do I do? What do I say to that? Something I feel so passionately about...and here is my fiance telling me that basically I am stupid for wanting to do something meaningful with my life...

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tiffers32788

Asked by tiffers32788 at 12:05 AM on May. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (78 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • i'd check and ask him why he feels that way first. it may be concern for your saftey in that case you'd have to sit down and discuss the fact that you get the training and have people with you etc etc..and see how he feels after discussing it. if its just him not being supportive, i don't know that i'd be able to marry him, i mean thats your dream in life, your supposed to share dreams with your life partner not crush them
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 12:07 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • IF he is the right man for you and IF he really loves you he will stand by you and your dream.....plain and simple.
    Tell him that if he wants to be with you he needs to accept you and support you in ALL your lifes goals.
    LimoMOM5

    Answer by LimoMOM5 at 12:08 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • Tell him that this is wha tyou want to do and he can either chance his attitude or scoot.

    I decided two months after we married that I wanted to be a midwife. It's very time consuming and husbands often end up playing second fiddle to strangers in labor. Even after I started and he saw how much of my life it consumed, my husband still supported me. You deserve the same.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:09 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • I would try one last time to explain this dreams importance to you. No matter what, DO NOT GIVE IT UP FOR HIM! This is your life and you should live it doing things you love to do. I honestly do not think I could be with someone who doesn't support my dreams and goals for life. It seems like he is just bringing you down too much but it could be because his dreams aren't as big as yours and he's possibly jealous. Good luck!
    Marix3

    Answer by Marix3 at 12:09 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • A female shouldn't be a firefighter. It's a man's job. Unless you're 6'2" and build like an Amazon. But beyond that, he is probably thinking of his life with you. Do you know a firemans schedule? It's a 24 hour day on and 2 days off. And what about when you get pregnant? And after you have the baby? How do you plan on raising it? Seems a little selfish to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • And the child you have now is going to suffer.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:05 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • Anon 6:03...it is women like you that make me hate almost every woman alive. I am 5'6 and 203 pounds, most of that being muscle. Just because I have a Vag doesnt mean that I can devote my life to saving others. Thanks. Oh and FYI we have plenty of female firefighters in my community, our best is 5'3 and 108 pounds...she could kill someone with one arm though. So please, just stop, youre obviously a typical woman, so you can enjoy cooking meals, doing laundry, and basically being a slave to your family. Thats not me, thanks. I would rather be a strong female rolemodel for my daughter. Oh and...VOLUNTEER, that means I will be on an on-call basis, required 10 hours of truck time a week...so just shut up...I hate women like you!
    tiffers32788

    Answer by tiffers32788 at 11:01 AM on May. 6, 2009

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