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My in laws are ruining everything

Since i got pregnant my sil and mil are doing nothing but trying to upset me on purpose. They say I do or don't do things that aren't true. There always trying to make me look like this horrible person when its the complete oppisite. I have tried to go out of my way to make them happy. We found out we where having a girl tonight and instead of being happy, my mil trys starts a fight. WTF??? How do I cope with them. I'm married to there son and giving birth to there gd so I can't just tell them to f*ck off. How do I tell them leave me alone in a classy way?? Like seriously who goes out of there way to piss off there pregnant daughter in law? Has anyone else ever gone threw this? My husband has dealt with this his whole life, he doesn't have the energy to fight with two mentally unstable people anymore.

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Jillybeans24

Asked by Jillybeans24 at 12:07 AM on May. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (26 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • there isn't a nice way to do it. you have to set your foot down now or imagine what they'll be like when you have her? my MIL and SIL kept saying things like "oh don't let her have that its not safe" blah blah blah to things that were made for her age group or telling me i should let her sleep on her tummy etc. finally i told my MIL that she had her kids and raised them, i respect that it is her grandbaby and when i ask for advice i want it, but otherwise its mine and her sons choice as to how to raise our kids. and i told his SIL the same thing, that when she has a child it will be her child and i won't stick my nose in unless the baby really is not safe, so i'd appreciate if she'd do the same. since then there haven't been any issues and they were taken back at first but they cam around to understand and both ended up apologizing about it a few months later. so just sit down and have a convo with them, if they want to fight
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 12:12 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • and not listen, stand up say ok, i'm sorry then but i can't be around you right now b/c you are causing too much stress. and you have to have DH"s support in it, they are gonna go straight to him and if he doesn't back you up that'll be a whole other issue
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 12:14 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • Don't worry about being nice...they're not being nice to you and you owe them nothing.

    If hubby is tired of it too...then it's time to cut off this toxic relationship. Tell them that if they cannot be nice, then you cannot associate with them. Period.

    And follow through.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:28 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • Cut them off, and become a black hole. If they treat you/your DH like this imagine how they will treat your daughter? No good ever comes out of relationships with toxic people, no matter what the relationship is to you/your child. My MIL is totally cut off from my kids and myself because she is toxic. I suggest two books, both by the same author. Toxic In Laws and Toxic Parents - Dr Susan Forward. I've only read the Toxic IL book, but it explains ALOT.
    Fooph121780

    Answer by Fooph121780 at 8:51 AM on May. 6, 2009

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