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if you remember all my questions yesterday...

basically my daughters bff scratched her and pulled her during soccer and really hurt daughter says this girl has been aggressive before.and getting more daughter went down to the school therapist(anti bully commitee)and talked with her.she said she wanted to still be friends with this girl but not if she was going to be so question is should i talk to the mother cause my daughter said some things that as a mother i would want to know about my daughter??like maybe this girl has some anger issues?she does play soccer and ice hockey and is very good but the mother really pushes her.what do you think???

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Asked by raineydays377 at 8:24 AM on May. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (6)
  • I would just let the counselor handle it. If you go to the mother she may get defensive and blame your child. If she's pushing her daughter to play these sports then there's a possibility that she's a little bit of a bully herself and her daughter may be acting out towards your daughter because she can't let her mom down. Tell dd just to stay away from her unless she apologizes for the way she has treated her.

    Answer by mommabear2008 at 8:37 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • the mother was there and saw the whole thing.ya her mom is a bully herself.and i liked when you said the daghter might have trying to please her mother.i did notice the mom did praise my daughter and said nothing to her own and when my daughter started to get the ball the girl got thought was that she was praising my daughter cause she new she wasnt as good but i think the daughter may have seen it another way.good idea!

    Answer by raineydays377 at 8:44 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • It sounds like the girl has issues beyond what your daughter knows. Like something going on in the home. If her bff is continuing to be aggressive and violent towards your daughter then tell your daughter to stay away from her. Normally the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. So talking to the mother may yield no result and increase your frustration.

    Explain to your daughter that there are other girls who would value your daughters friendship more and not hurt her physically. Ask her if she would like to invite a new friend to spend the night so your daughter doesn't feel lonely and she can have a new friendship to begin on.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 8:47 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • It sounds like your daughter is doing okay on her own. Its very important that we teach our kids to communicate with other people who are hurting us or upsetting us. She wasnt afraid to talk about it so she went to the counselor...Thats wonderful. You and her need to talk together about how to handle it, but I would wait on speaking with the mother. If it escalates to the point that there are threats or bodily harm more than scratches, then I might intervene, but it sounds like you have a really well grounded child who is doing the right thing. Good for her!

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:54 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • Has your daughter told her clearly that what she is doing is hurting her. If a friend loves you and upon realizing that their behavior is harmful they should stop. And if her friend doesn't change she needs to back off.

    Answer by Glickstein at 10:43 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • all good answers so i select them all as the best///

    Answer by raineydays377 at 10:55 AM on May. 6, 2009

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