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Am I playing with fire?

I have thought about my ex from time to time and wondered how he is doing, what he is up to. It has been 17 yrs since we spoke, we dated when we were teenagers, he was my first and I was his. But of course being teenagers, after that we broke up, go figure. I think it was more than we bargained for and we just kind of didn't really know anything. But regardless, I still think of him from time to time. He has had a lot of tragedy in his life and I have been less than thrilled with mine lately. Well I looked him up on myspace and we are talking (as friends). He knows I am married and have children, and I know he has been married but currently divorced and has been in a relationship for 2 yrs with a gal. I am so glad I reconnected with him and I think we have the makings for a great friendship. But sometimes I wonder what would have happened or what could happen if given different circumstance where we could end up.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on May. 6, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • I don't think there is any problem with you speaking to him, after all it's been 17 years. But the "what if" game you are playing is pointless. STOP that. If you are happy in your marriage then it's not an issue, but if you aren't happy, then you need to adress that

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:23 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • If your just friends, I don't see anything wrong with keeping contact with him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • I'm not sure why you're opening door that have been closed. Unless you're really looking for leave your marriage for the ex? If your present husband renewed or found a relationship while still married to you and spoke of being together with you would that hurt you? I've been cheated on and it lasts and changes us and kids. Maybe counselling with your husband to see about working things out or divorcing before going further with ex could help?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • I don't know - I talk to my 1st love and if he was around here we would probably be really good friends. However I know that I love my husband & I don't want anyone other tahn my husband and he loves his wife and so forth so there would never be a question there as to if anything would happen. You are always going to wonder about things but you have to know what you have and how good your life has been. If it is too hard for yall to be friends then don't. I am sure he would understand.

    Answer by momwifelove at 10:20 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • okay. you need to step out of your life for a second, reread what you wrote as if someone else wrote it. what I see is someone looking for an "escape" plan with out realizing it. Your saying you think of him from time to time, he was your first, and IF things were different where you two would end up. Don't cheat on your husband. Whatever is wrong in your marriage you need to try and fix it. You need to quit talking to this guy. He is bringing back old memories.. that are OLD. You don't know this guy besides what he tells you on myspace. I think you know what the answer is to your question. Yes your playing with fire. Your looking for justification. Your not going to get it from me. How would you feel if your husband reconnected with a past love?

    Answer by amy31308 at 10:21 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • Does your husband know you have been in contact with him? I know it would deeply hurt my Husband if I did that. I respect my Husband and my Marriage too much to do that to him..

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • I don't see anything wrong with it if you are innocently talking as friends. Are you hiding it from your husband? Is he hiding you from his girlfriend? Do you still have romantic feelings for him that you might act on? If any of the answers to those questions are yes...than I would say you are playing with fire...and we all know what happens with that. It is not wrong to wonder what might have been. Everyone at some time in their life thinks "what if." But as long as that's where your mind stays and you don't find yourself wanting to find out the "what if", and as long as its not causing problems in your family or marriage, I would say why not be friends with him? Everyone could use a friend.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 10:49 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • You are asking for trouble. Whether fire is involved is up to you

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:03 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • If you have to ask that question, the answer is usually yes. But are you willing to get burned?

    Answer by isabellalecour at 11:30 AM on May. 6, 2009

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