Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how do i get over my babys daddy?

we were "buddies" i got pregnant we were "together" i didnt know about it i fell lonely at night so i like him being there he rubs my belly and ii fall asleep and the sex! thing is he told me he will never love me that way that he loves the baby and loves me as a friend but that he loves someone else (a girl he hasnt seen in a year and never dated) and told me to grow up and get over it now i cant sleep eat im depressed he slept over last night to rub my belly but i need to get over him how do i do it my baby inside cant take me not eating or sleeping i need help ladies my first baby and im only 20 i feel so alone cuz every one i know except 5 friends left on deployment i have no one really to hang out with but him and plus the stuff hes been doing is irrisponsible.

Answer Question

Asked by cheny at 10:24 AM on May. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • you're right sweetheart. your baby cannot handel you not eating or sleeping. you need to take care of you and the baby. forget about the guy...he is a jerk. how can he say he loves the baby but not you? you are carrying his child. please try to realize that filling the loneliness with someone that doenst care for you isnt doing you any good. are not alone. you have your baby there with you. think of it this way, yoiu would do anything to protect the baby. well, now is your first chance to do just that. you have to protect him/her from unnecessary harm and stress. let the mother bear take over in you. you are stronger than you think. stop allowing that men to come into your life when it is convient for him...that is not what being a parent is about. love yourself and your baby, that is all that is important right now. be strong. good luck mama!

    Answer by JessieK79 at 10:44 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • Im so sorry you are having to go through this esepcially while pregnant. You deserve better. He has already told you he wont love you so believe him. Dont think things will change it will only hurt you more in the long run. I wouldnt let him sleep over to rub your belly that will only make it a million times harder. You should go in and talk to a therapist or a clergy member about the sadness you are feeling. Also make sure you are taking care of yourself. I know it may not seem like it now but in awhile you will think wow that guy is a jerk I am so glad we didnt end up together.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 10:45 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • i know what i have to do and thank u for your advice it helps sooo much its just hard to get started and i hate that i cant just do it

    Answer by cheny at 10:47 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • stop sleeping with him for one. control yourself, second. distance yourself from him, 3rd. He's the baby's father but that doesn't mean you have to be together. You had sex and got pregnant. It's what happens when you have sex! No surprise there. It doesn't mean you're "meant to be". If he tells you he doesn't love you, have enough self respect and dignity to leave it that way. You can't "make" him love you. It's not gonna happen. The most you can hope for is that he'll treat you with respect for being the mother of his child. But it's hard to respect a woman that doesn't respect herself. Grow up for your baby's sake. I'm not trying to be mean, but it's all true.

    Answer by olifloresdiana at 10:48 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • Everything will work out the way its supposed to. you both made some decisions withouth thinking them through... its not HIS Fault and its not YOURS! its BOTH OF YOUR GUYS!
    Anon-that wasnt a very nice thing to say.
    Everyone makes mistakes... and EVERYONE wants to feel wanted and feel needed....

    Sweety-the only thing i can really suggest is to find your happy place.You dont NEED someone to be happy and i think now would be the perfect time for you to learn that.Take advantage of this time to do some soul searching...You are about to become a mommy!! once the baby is here you will experience all the LOVE that you can handle-and then some!
    I do agree that you shouldnt have him staying over... you know how much it hurts you...So id say not to do it cause it will make things harder on yourself.
    Focus on you and the baby and dont worry about ANY man for right now. If you needa friend-Message me ANY time!
    Keep your head up!

    Answer by trystons_mommy at 11:17 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • Goodness gracious anonmoyous why are you so mean she is pregnant.I know she should have waited at least to be in a commited relationship or at least marriage like I did.My advice to her is do not sleep around.Do not invite him over.As soon as the baby is born go down to the district attorney office and file for child support.Get yourself a job if you do not have one now ,and do not worry if you do not have anyone to hang out with that is the least of your worries.You have to grow up and be responsilbe for that baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:53 AM on May. 7, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
I Need Advice