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Do you ever feel you are the only one sacraficing?

I have been married almost 8 yrs, we have 3 kids and I have given up a lot over the years, a lot of who I once was. I know that there are sacrafices when you become a parent, and that I was so willing to do and I am glad I have my kids. But sometimes I feel like it is solely up to me to always be the one to sacrafice. Even when I am seeking ways to make our lives (as a family) better, I always have to figure it out, I always have to sacrafice. I resent my dh so much for this sometimes. And I know first comments will be..........."you need to talk to him" or "you need counseling".........I have talked, I have made comments, and he will never go to counseling............so what else do I do here? Do I deal until my kids are older or do I lay it out there yet again? I see myself falling out of love with him and wondering if there is someone more supportive out there. I don't want to hurt my kids, but maybe I already am!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on May. 6, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Felt excatly like you wrote above. The difference is now that I finally started taking care of myself and my needs. Your doing for everyone but yourself. When you make time for yourself, even small things, its makes a world of difference. Sure you husband is fine with the way things are, start delagating some responsibilty to him. As your kids get older it does get easier, not taking care of the basic needs. It moves to bigger and better things. LOL> Start trying to do things for yourself. I know its hard, It has to be a learned thing.
    Yebbers

    Answer by Yebbers at 12:16 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I'm not understanding why you would even lay it out there for him again. He understands what you are saying and he's not going to sacrifice anything for anyone, not now and not then. It's just one of those things you choose to do and he doesn't. Accept it or not. That part is up to you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:58 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • Im just starting and i already feel my husband isnt supportive and like i cant be myself around him. i love to dance not neccasarly party but dance and go out and he just doesnt care.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • you can't change him, you can only change what you do. So many of us do this as mothers and wives. You need to give yourself permission to have one thing you enjoy doing and makes you feel like yourself (ie dancing) that you will not give up. It doesn't matter if your dh goes with you, you are going to go dancing and have a wonderful time, being you. you'll be less resentful of your entire family if you hold onto something that makes you feel good about being you.

    mikenmisty

    Answer by mikenmisty at 12:36 PM on May. 6, 2009