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Has anyone ever left their marriage with young kids?

I am wondering more and more if I should. I love my husband for a lot of things, and especially our kids. But sometimes I feel like I don't even like him anymore and that maybe there is so much I am missing. I know it will be hard if I leave, and I really don't want to do that to my kids. But I feel like maybe I am hurting me, so I want some advice from mom's that have been strong enough to leave and wonder if they are glad they did it and what did they run into they did not expect? Was it harder or easier than you thought, and what else should I consider? Keep in mind this is NOT an abusive relationship, more of a one-sided relationship......I give and sacrafice and he doesn't even when I tell him I need help, it improves briefly and then goes back to the same old same old. Help a momma out!


Asked by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on May. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I'm in the same situation as you and I AM leaving. My husband is not physically abusive, but I don't love him and our marriage is not good for us or the kids (he' s a very angry and depressing man in general.) I'm going to leave him and start over and although I believe it's going to be hard, I know I'm ready because I'm not scared. Message me if you'd like to talk.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 12:09 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • From my own experience if my ex wouldn't have been abusive I would have tried to salvage our marriage. I couldn't fix him.
    If you are just unhappy because he isn't as responsve as you would like him to be then I would seek counseling, maybe seperate and together. Your children deserve that much. This is JMO. I'm not saying you should stay for the children, I'm saying that if you do love him and it's worth working on then try it, then if that doesn't work at least you can say you tried... GL

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:16 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • Perhaps that is where I am confused, because I am not sure how much I love him anymore.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • I did leave my first marriage when my son was young. Unlike yours, mine was abusive. I took my then 2 year old son and left. I could not take the chance of him being hurt eventually. I reunited with my high school sweetheart 2 years later and he has raised my son as his own ever since. (son is now 18) I would say, it can be very difficult to raise children alone, but if the only reason you have to leave is that you do all the giving and he does all the taking, you don't have a good enough reason in my opinion. People are letting go of their marriages entirely too easy these days, a lifetime commitment is worth fighting for!!! Please consider the impact it will have on your children to no longer have Daddy around and remember that one day you will have to tell them why you left their dad. Can you give them the reason you are listing here and be confident that your kids won't ask you why you didn't work a little harder?

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 11:29 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • I left my ex-husband, the father of my son when I was still pregnant. He was addicted to steroids, violent, abusive, threatening, attempted to get me to miscarry my son and I left. I was 3 months pregnant. The divorce was final the day before 9/11. He claims to be drug free but has not once come to meet his child (kills me to say that since he's done nothing to deserve the term Dad), not a phone call, card, email...nothing.

    You need to do what's best for you and your kids. If you think it's worth saving then work at it. But you need to tell him that you're contemplating divorce.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 11:38 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • I found out my husband was cheating one week before i found out i was pregnant with my fist child. I left him, but before the baby was bone reunited with him b/c he saught counseling and "showed" that he changed. By the time my child was 18 months, my no good hubby was back to his old ways; cheating, lying, blowing threw all our money. I knew it was over, but didn't know if i could survive on my own, but when he became abusive i threw him out for good! Turns out, I was SO much better off. I paid off all my debt within one year, was making good money, me and my child were very happy; emotionally we felt safe and secure. I'm currently remarried to a wonderful man who has been/is a fabulous father to my child.

    So, my point is, seek some counseling first. If there's no abuse you owe it to your kids to try work it out, but if you both have tried everything you have, and it's not emotionally healthy for you, then part ways.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on May. 8, 2009