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how can i get my 3 year old to still feelimportant and helpful after the twins come?


Asked by babyb1 at 11:24 AM on May. 6, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (6)
  • as hard as it may be to find time, make time alone with her! Also, what I did was made things more about my 3 year old than the baby. So, for example, instead of stuff like "the baby will be here soon!" it was "you're going to be a big brother soon!" I also pointed out the things he could do that the baby could. So for example, "the baby doesn't even know how to talk yet so he cries a lot - but you know how to talk, you're such a big boy" That helped not only make him feel important but also explained a little bit why babies are so dependent (you know how to feed yourself, but he can't so mommy has to hold him to nurse him). Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy :)

    Answer by Jo-Anna at 12:31 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Let her assist you with tasks like getting the diaper, clothes, etc. She will enjoy helping you out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • Let her help you do as much as she is capable! She will LOVE it!


    Answer by lvnmygrlz at 11:48 AM on May. 6, 2009

  • First of all, you need to have alone time with your toddler. Before the babies come make sure you talk to her and let her know how much of your attention the babies are going to need, especially if you plan on breastfeeding. After the babies come, let her run and get a diaper or the wipes. Let her pick out the outfits they will wear for the day, hold the bottle if needed. When they get older she can help with baths. There are so many things your little one can do. When the babies are sleeping, have story time in the day. Let her have a bubble bath in the middle of the day. Have a tea party or picnic in the house for her. If she is not interested in the baby, then don't force the issue. She will come to them in her own time.

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 12:05 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Pay attention to her, play with her, let her help with as much as she can, if she wants to. Some little kids love helping with the new baby, some take awhile to get interested, let the choice be hers and love her and adore her regardless of what her feelings are. If she still feels like she is being respected and loved, she won't resent the new additions and will appreciate them, if not right away, in her own time. Don't compare them or ever allow her to feel like she needs to compete for attention. Let her know she's special in her own way and emphasize all the great things she can do as a bigger kid.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Incorporate your other child into caring for the twins. It will give them great pride to feel like you trust them with such responsibility as helping mommy by handing her a diaper or fetching items for you while you nurse/feed them.
    My kids lovedwih helping out with our twins (and they were a HUGE help)
    My twins will be 2 in June and I'm due in June with our 6th child. My twins are already excited about helping me out already.

    Just remember this, everyone loves to feel needed and wanted. Incorporating them into helping (not slave driving, mind you! lol) but actually helping will help tone down any feelings of jealousy too.

    Answer by MamaCarterof5 at 12:17 PM on May. 6, 2009