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what do y'all think?

SO and I have been together for about 2 years. we have a son who just turned 1. SO is my best friend and I dont want to be with anyone else. He is good to me and our son, works hard, is hilarious, playful, has a good head on his shoulders and is very grounded. he's honest, trustworthy and very open. we kinda discussed marriage and he told me he thinks its just signatures on a piece of papaer and he's seen many friends have failed marriages. so he's "afraid" and not ready for that kind of commitment. but anyways, I told him the other day I want to be with him the rest of my life, whether or not we decide to get married. when I asked what he thought, he said along the lines of "ok then you're stuck with me". I guess that was his way of saying "ok" lol I feel like I'm trying to hint at him that I want to be his wife, but it sounds like he's holding back some. should I just let it go and see where it goes?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on May. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • ya know a piece of paper really doesnt mean anything. it sounds like you have a great guy and you love each other. if it ain't broke honey dont fix it
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 1:40 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Propose to him if you want to get married and agree on a long engagement. Find out if he feels the same and ask him about marriage. Tell him you would like to be married in the next X amount of years.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 1:40 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • A piece of paper may not mean anything to the one above me
    BUT if it is important to you, you need to make that clear.
    If he feels that he will never get married, you need to ask yourself if you are 100% happy with that.
    For me personally I would not be.
    THAT piece of paper is important and I want to be a someones wife. The label of girlfriend and the label of wife...are very different.
    I would speak to him again, let him know your feelings. If he thinks that you just agree with him
    he is not going to speak up so you need to..

    I so would not propose to him.....
    Good Luck
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 1:45 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • You guys have only been together for 2 years, he's still in that 'it could fail' state of mind. They say that in the 4th year that's when it becomes the hardest so just wait until you've been together for 5-6 years and if you guys are still going strong his mind may just be changed. Just give him time. Proposing to him and trying to force him isn't going to change the way he feels, he's just going to get angry that you're pushing him to do something he isn't ready to do. Let it go and see what happens. I can honestly say nothing changed between dh and I after we got married.....we still lived together, still had a daughter together, still loved eachother the same, life went on like it always had so really other than wanting a big fancy wedding where you get to wear a pretty dress and feel like a Princess for a day is there any other reason for wanting to get married so badly?
    mommabear2008

    Answer by mommabear2008 at 1:46 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • well let me put it this way. i lived with my SO for quite a long period of time. i mentioned marriage all the time. i felt that if i was good enough to live with i was good enough to marry. we were happy living together he would introduce me as his wife cuz we had been together for so long. but for some reason when i did finally convince him to marry me everything changed and not for the better. i dont know why but it did. so like i said if it aint broke dont fix it
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 1:48 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Relax.. give it some more time.. You put the cart before the Horse ( had a baby). Maybe you two need more time to grow in your relationship before making it official. Just let it be known what you desire.. and I would suggest not having any more children until you make it official!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Ok so Jodi had a bad experience...
    Marriage can be great, you can not take more than you give.
    If it is important to you, I would make that clear to him.
    2 years with someone is long enough to know.
    I knew on my second date with my fiance that he was the one and I wanted to be his wife oneday.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 1:52 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Well you agreed when he said he didn't want to get married... so your hint wasn't quite good enough really. Be blunt about it and say "I know that a lot of people think that it's just a signature on paper, but I want it, I want to know that you're here for the long haul, that you promise me and God (if you're religious) that you're planning on being with me forever. I want to know that should something happen to you me and your child are protected. I want the whole package but I understand if you're not ready for that, but when you are ready, I am too because I want to be with you in every sense of the word, I want to promise you and God as well as the world that I am yours in every sense of the word".
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:59 PM on May. 6, 2009

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