Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How to I get her to be independent more at 9 weeks or is this too early for independence?

Sometimes she will sit in the swing but then she fussess too. If I know she is full, dry..should I let her cry a little so she doesn't get used to someone always doing what she wants?

Answer Question
 
HayleyGM

Asked by HayleyGM at 1:57 PM on May. 6, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Too early
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • She is still very young! She needs to know you will respond when she cries out. You will know when it is time to back off a little. When she starts grabbing things and examining things-then let her fuss and try to entertain herself. My daughter will fuss for a minute and then find her toes fascinating! Lol! She distracts herself and is 7 months. 9 weeks-she still needs you at every cry!!
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 2:00 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • 9 weeks is still too young for independance!
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 2:01 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • At 9 weeks we would let our daughter fuss it out for a little bit because we wanted her to see we could do things without holding her all the time. If it was more than 15 minutes or the fussing became real cries then we would get her. We would just talk to her and acknowledge we heard her fussing and finish what we wanted. She didn't get the hang of it until about 3 months.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 2:02 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • A few minutes of crying isn't going to hurt her, but I would go no more than 5 minutes. If she is in the swing or whatever and you are just sitting on the couch then yes go get her when she cries. But if you are doing dishes, vacuuming, cleaning, etc, then she will be ok for a few minutes but don't worry about teaching her independence yet. When she gets a few months older (4 or 5 months) and she can reach out and grab toys, or look around to find interesting things, then she is old enough to learn to self-soothe. She' s only a baby once, and trust me, when she gets that independence you will wish she wasn't growing up so fast! Enjoy it while you can!
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 2:10 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Too young... In my opinion holding your baby, caring for them, playing with the. making them feel loved & safe in their environment is what will make them become independent, in time, when they are ready! I co-slept. held my baby alot & nursed. everyone kept saying she isnt going to know how to sleep alone, entertain herself, and is going to be clingy.... PULEASE! She is 2.5, is & has always been great at not being needy! I do have to spend time laying her down.. but thats because i enjoy it personally. there are days im busy & after a story she will lay down herself..

    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 2:16 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Yeah, just stop getting up to meet her needs. Tell her, "Get your own bottle". Tell her "Change your diaper and put a sweater on it is getting cold."

    That sounds totally crazy right???

    The way you teach independence is to completely meet her needs while she is an infant. this will help her to feel happy and secure, so that when she is able to do things for herself (can get from one place to the next, can go pick out a toy form the basket etc.) she will have the confidence to do it. If you try to force independence too early, you end up with a clingy, crying unhappy baby.

    Se is NOT "getting used to someone always doing what she wants", she is learning that she is cared for, her needs are met and that will pay off in the long run. She can be full and dry and still need her mommy to take care of her!
    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 2:23 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • thanks guys, exactly the advice i needed!
    HayleyGM

    Answer by HayleyGM at 2:26 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • My girl is 9 1/2 weeks and if she makes a little fuss or complaint (not crying) I'll let her do that if I'm doing dishes/eating etc. If she actually starts crying then I stop and go to her.
    But usually if she's just making whiny noises she';ll get distracted by a light or a shadow or her mobile and stop within afew minutes.
    BambiF

    Answer by BambiF at 2:33 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • She's a baby.
    Give her the attention she NEEDS.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on May. 6, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN