Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I let the ex know that I am having the child support reviewed?

In Texas you have to wait 3 years to review child support. I have had it reviewed when my son was 4 and now he is 7. Stuff gets pricey for a kid no matter what stuff they enjoy doing. I submitted my forms to have the amount taken into review last September and was notified today that I will be meeting with the ex-husband in 2 weeks to come to a new amount.

At the last review I was told I could have gotten nearly $800 a month plus back pay for medical. I denied the medical money and asked for $500 a month since that would cover my son's daycare. Now, looking back I was being nice to him even though he has never met our son, been there when he's been in the hospital and all he could say last time my son was dying was "Let me know if he lives. If he dies I don't have to pay child support."

Should I feel guilty that I would be taking more money from him so my son can have more?

 
lilbit022009

Asked by lilbit022009 at 2:06 PM on May. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 4 (29 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Don't let your fear keep your son from getting what he deserves. I didn't ask for child support for my oldest & she is 14 now & I regret it. That money would have made her life easier & would have allowed me to spend more time with her instead of working 2 jobs. I wouldn't try to talk to your ex outside of the meeting, just let it happen. And don't feel guilty. Your ex helped create this child, he nees to help support him.
    funnyface1204

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 3:16 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Don't tell him. You may just start a fight before the hearing and it's not worth it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • no he'll find out when he gets the letter in the mail. and if you dont ask for a review in alot of states domestic will automatically review it anyways
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 2:08 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Why give him the common curtosey if he isn't involved and doesn't seem to care.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Personally, I think you should not up the child support. He might be a jerk and an asshole, because he doesn't wnat anything to do with the child.. But I just couldn't do it.. I'm a mom of 3 and the father isn't there, and he doesn't give me child support, beause I'd rather work hard for a living and take care of my children instead of constantly begging for more money.. IMO , don't bother him for more money and take care of your children.. You didn't give the whole story, and there might be more reasons why he feels that way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I would be scared to up it in case he decided he wants to visit his son...but that is just my situation. I would not notify him of what you are doing in this case, but if he had a good realtionship with his son then I would be inclined to tell him.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 2:42 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I wouldnt worry about telling him. If you got your notice I would think he would have already recieved the same notice. It sounds like he could care less about him, but at least he is paying something. No matter what happens good luck. I hope your son's medical stuff get better.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 3:04 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Anon:32 they don't really give a lot of space to give the whole story. He was abusive to me and wanted me to abort my son, I refused, he became more violent. I learned he was dealing drugs and had drug dealers in my home. I confronted him with this and it got worse. I left and filed for divorce. The last time I saw him was 3 years ago and could see he was still on steroids. I don't want that around my son. I work hard for a living and take care of my son. It sounds like you don't approve of women that do accept child support...IMO. Just because I get child support doesn't mean I don't work hard.

    As to why he hasn't been around my son--I told him not to come around while he was on drugs. I don't want drugs dealers and pushers around my son. My son was diagnosed as autism due to his steroid use. If I were calling him saying that I needed more money then that is begging. Going through the court is not.
    lilbit022009

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 3:17 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • You do realize that if his finances have changed, lost a job, makes less money etc that it could go down? I wouldn't chance it, my review came up this yr and I didn't do anything. Why rock the boat? My son hasn't seen his bio-father for the past 7 yrs but I'm not letting him off the hook financially.. I just don't need more, and I can't see the logic in going for more if there's a chance it would be reduced.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 3:20 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • He got a promotion last year and just bought a house. Yes I am aware that it could go down or up.
    lilbit022009

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 3:22 PM on May. 6, 2009

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN