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Help, My 13 year old is lieing all the time, not doing her work, failing in school, and has already been left back, What should I do??

She is driving me crazy, she lies all the time, she is being lazy about homework, her chores, which is keeping her room clean, and doing the dish 2 times a week, putting her clothes away, in her draw they are already folded, WHAT CAN I DO???

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on May. 6, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • Take what she loves to do away, until she cleans.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 2:24 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I was the same way and my mom grounded, spanked and anything else she thought of. It didn;t help. I never failed a grade, but, I didn't try until 10 grade. I didn't have the desire. I am still not one to clean up or keep my room straightened...so, I don't know what to do. BTW, I didn't do homework from first grade to tenth grade.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 2:25 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I am currently 17 and I did the exact same thing...talk to her shcool councelor they have these slips they can make her take to all of her teachers and they will write her daily homework and etc. on it and then she can show it to you. Youll know exactly what shes supposed to be doing and shell have to do it daily... and if she fails to show it to you one day shes lieng about something. It will also make sure shes attending class!!
    hug4akiss

    Answer by hug4akiss at 3:54 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • as for the cleaning thing...dont let her do ANYTHING until she cleans it and keeps it clean for a week. As soon as it starts getting dirty again warn her she has to clean it or shes grounded again. II know it sounds harsh but being someone in the same age group I know it will work
    hug4akiss

    Answer by hug4akiss at 3:55 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Be there for her. Every day she gets home from school go over home work. Maybe she doesn't get it, maybe she doesn't care, but if there is anything that you can do to help its a plus. I'm big on discipline. If you can treat her like a mini adult, tell her that her behavior is innapproitiate and needs to stop. Don't let her divide you and your husband. Be on the same page for the cause and effect, cause you know there will be attitude on her end. Your changing the game. REMEMBER: YOU ARE THE PARENT, WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE TO HAVE CONTROL!!!!
    Glickstein

    Answer by Glickstein at 5:27 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • For home work my kids get clear back packs so I can easyly see in them. I then do home work checks and I am in full contact with the teachers.

    As for chores I have no clue I having that problum myself.
    Momof2Stepof3

    Answer by Momof2Stepof3 at 7:06 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I am big on dicipline too and I agree with Glickstein. You kind of just have to take control no matter how mean she thinks you are.
    Here's some really mean ideas lol
    If she don't want to put her clothes away take her dresser out of her room or don't wash and fold her laundry for her
    If she can't respect the fact that you provide her with her own bedroom, maybe she just don't need her own room at all
    If she don't want to do dishes, make her eat dinner off of a dirty plate

    Yeah it sounds mean but it seems to me like she may be lacking a little respect for all that mom does and provides for her
    And yes I would be that way with my kids. I would threaten them with it first. Usually when I threaten them they straighten right up because they know how I am lol.
    CrystalJC73

    Answer by CrystalJC73 at 7:55 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Im in highschool and most kids do this because its normal lol I never slacked with homework too much, but I did tell my mom I didnt hav a bf and that smoking was gross lol. I learned from my mistakes and I did not need my mother to help me because she didnt.

    Sit her down and explain to her what failure leads to. Also talk to her about school and friends, she might be depressed. I started being like that when I was really depressed, look into it. Make sure she isnt before you jump down her throat because you will come out with an even more rebellious teen.
    MammaBella

    Answer by MammaBella at 9:53 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Talk to her teacher/guidance counselor. Maybe they can help with study support or peer tutoring. Try to tap into things she loves to do and find out how she learns best (my own kids are very active, so sitting in lecture classes is torture for them!!) Check into the possibility of depression, ADD or learning disabilities.
    funmom99876

    Answer by funmom99876 at 10:46 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • You are the parent and she is the child. You need to take control and take it now. You are going to have a hard time of it because she has been let go this long. Stick to your guns, ground her butt from every enjoyable thing she has until she gets it that school and what you say comes before anything else.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:49 PM on May. 7, 2009

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