Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Does it seem like ever since you've had children you've lost your friends?

It does me. I know that when you have kids you can't do what you used to do. I have a friend who is asking me to leave town with her for 3 days and expects me to find a sitter everytime she wants us to go out. How do I make this person understand that I can't just take off like I used to? I can hang out with friends once in a while but I can't just leave for 3 days. I feel bad for always saying no.

Answer Question
 
LaurenKaye29

Asked by LaurenKaye29 at 2:34 PM on May. 6, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 8 (261 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • i lost alot of my friends, the only ones who stuck around were my two best friends from highschool, and another friend who had a kid 6 months before me, we became closer, and my husbands best friend, who was always my friend he and i became close friends as well, but other than that i lost most of my friends it sucks, but i now have more friends that have kids and its easier
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • it's ok to say no. i'm sure you've gone on random trips with her before or went out with no problem, but its not that easy now that you have a kid! she might not understand, but maybe you can arrange to go out another time, or invite her to your house? I have lost many friends. no one ever calls or visits. it was very hard on me. once my son was old enough I started going to library playgroups and I met a few cool young moms with babies my son's age and I've made friends with them! good enough for me for now!
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 2:38 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Yeah, most of my friends moved away after high school and I stayed here, got married and had kids. So, now, I don't talk to many of them anymore. I talk to my BF from high school and I will be seeing her next month (she is getting married). But, other then that, most of my friends are friends now because we have kids the same age.
    -Ashley
    spiritguide_23

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 2:41 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I often feel like I need more adult time and have to work so hard just to go out. sometimes its not worth the trouble but then I feel like I get in a rut and resent my homelife. my bf has a good balance of going out with the girls and being home with family. I'ts always been somewhat of a struggle for me.
    writeon

    Answer by writeon at 2:44 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I don't live around my old friends and the ones we have around here all have children and are as busy as we are. It's hard to find time to get together. We just focus on our family and each other, the other just isn't as important as it used to be. I feel that true friends are there even if it takes 2 months to finally call and chat. We all understand that we have priorities..
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 2:45 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I think this is very common. Especially for young moms. I had my first at 19 and all my friends were still out at parties, looking for men and in college. We no longer had anything in common and drifted apart. It was a hard adjustment for me to make. I was lonely until my son started preschool and I started to meet women with whom I had more in common. Once my son hit 3rd grade my social life really took off. Hang in there girl, it does get better!
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 2:48 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Well the good friends that understand your situation you will not lose. My friends all had kids the same time I did but I have moved away from everyone. We still talk on a regular basis though. I have been besties with two girls. One since I was 12 and the other since I was 17...I'm 35 now. Good friends will always be your friends regardless.
    CrystalJC73

    Answer by CrystalJC73 at 8:27 PM on May. 6, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN