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How can I defend myself while keeping details out of it?

He found out some information about my past and now he is trying to get me to talk about it. Some of it's true and some of it's not. He keeps throwing it into my face by calling me a liar, sl*t, wh*re and a c*nt. I really think that it's none of his business because it was before us and the relationship that we have built has not been based on the past but he won't let it go.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on May. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • wow, i know what you mean, my hubby did that to me to, i actually almost left him because of it, he begged me to stay and i gave him conditions, and hes followed them very faithfully, it almost killed him, cause i did leave and og to florida and wasnt coming back, was gone for almost a month, then we talked i came back and its good now, try throwing stuff in his face and say there how does it feel? do you like it? THEN STOP DOING IT TOME IT DOESNT MATTER IT WAS IN THE PAST!
    LA09TKP

    Answer by LA09TKP at 3:48 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Punch him in his face and leave him It will be a cold day in hell before I take that shit

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:49 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • me i'd tell him the basics b/c obviously he knows something and it may not even be the truth. so i'd give the basics, say it was the past and if you can't accept it and never throw it in my face like that again we are done.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 3:50 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • If he's going to call you names like that, I'm sorry but he's NOT a man..He's acting like a little boy like he doesn't have a past too. He should have alot more respect for you. There's 2 sides to every story, so if he doesn't give you a chance to tell yours before he starts talking down on you like that, I would leave him.
    Marix3

    Answer by Marix3 at 3:54 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Well, with an attitude like his and all the names he is calling you...why would you want to tell him more? Why would you bother telling him the whole truth if your already being called a whore and a slut? I have done things but my fionce understood and knows the things that I did were in a time before him and that i would never do it again. Maybe you didn't tell him before because you knew his reaction would be something of this sort.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 3:56 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • First, its not ok, no matter what your past contains for him to act that way. He needs to man up and not act like a child. Second, I do think that he should at least know the basics. You cant build a life with someone, and them not know your back ground.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 4:02 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • do you know everything about his past?? im just curious b/c my husband kept things from me and when i found out i was hurt b/c i thought we were completly honest with each other from the get go. and i watned to know every detail. im not trying to be mean or insensitive. he should never call you names or be mean to you and disrespect you. maybe hes just shocked and upset. give him a few days and if he doesnt stop then just tell him that what happened in your past really isnt important. if he wont get over it maybe sit down for 30min 1 night and say ask me any yes or no quetsions you want answered and after tonight i never want to talk about it again. Maybe that will helpand if your not comfortable with that. then its your relationship and no one knows it better than you. i hope you find that advice your looking for. and i hope your SO quits being a jerk
    ChloeMom0709

    Answer by ChloeMom0709 at 4:06 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Oh please, what you did before you met him is your business. Tell him to piss off and get out, because even if you did tell him he'd still throw it in your face. It's a no win situation. No one would ever get away with calling me those names I can assure you that.
    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 4:22 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • stick to your guns about not discussing it. he's using verbal abuse to manipulate you to give in to what he wants. It's about what you want. If you don't want to talk about it then that should be the end of the matter.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:25 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I agree with the stick to your guns thing. It sounds like even if you tell him he will throw it back in your face.. possibly forever! If you do decide to tell him everything I would do it in front of a counselor.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on May. 6, 2009

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