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Disliking your own child?

Tell me that I am not a bad mother, please. I love all 3 of my kids, but I tend to have an issue with getting along with my 6yr old. She annoys me. She is the sweetest little girl you could know. But she annoys me. Her personality and mine just dont mix well, I think. I dont know what else it could be. I hate that I feel this way. She is only 6yrs old! Why do I feel this way? What can I do to feel closer to her? How sad is that for a mother to not really mesh well with her own child?

You can bash me all you want, nothing you can say can make me feel worse than I already do. But if you can help me, I would be grateful.

Is there counseling for something like this?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on May. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • idk but sometimes I get very annoyed with my 6 year old daughter too. It must be something about that age!

    Answer by prettyrayray at 3:57 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I'm sure there are therapists that might help you. Is this your baby or your middle child? Was the child a mistake or rather an unplanned pregnancy? that might have something to do with it.. I had a friend who disliked her two year old for a short period of time . But I don't know what to tell you.. I hope things work out eventually, and some women might bash you, but don't pay attention.. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • You are NOT a bad mother and I don't care what anyone else says, they have had this same feeling at some point and/or will. I'm having the same problems now with my 7 year old. I think maybe some 1on 1 time would be a good thing. Go any place with just her. I'm going to do it with my son.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Oh my gosh! If it is just the age, I will be so grateful! I use to feel soooo very close to her! And now it just seem's that I am always irritated! So if it's not me and just the age, I will be so happy!

    Thank you for that, you make me feel a little comfort! :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Just curious, was it a traumatic birth? I'm amazed how many women say they had trouble bonding with their children after they had epidurals or other interventions. Most said they bonded, but it took a long time. Just wondering if that might be a componenent. Otherwise, I'd just say kids come out with their own personalities, and it's unavoidable that some clash. Doesn't mean you shouldn't love your daughter, it just might be more of a challenge! Good luck, momma. Love isn't love 'til it's challenged, right?

    Answer by Adelicious at 4:01 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • She is my middle child. But I dont remember feeling this way with my first born, but I also was a single mom and working a lot with her. Now I am a SAHM. So I am around a lot more! lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • find something you guys do have in common and try to spend some one on one time with her. my mom and i never really meshed b/c we are so totally diff, so we didn't get along til i moved out and had my first baby. since then we've both figured out that we aren't as diff as we thought and that is part of the problem too. so just try to find what you do have in common, be it you love shopping, movies something and just try to spend some time together w/o the other kids. it's probably just the age and how shes acting now but it doesn't hurt to spend one on one time w/her either.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 4:06 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • No she wasnt a hard labor. But I was really really really attached to her until she was almost 4, then we just seemed to not mesh well anymore. Her personality started changing. I thought it was just going to be a faze... but she is still the same like 2 yrs later. So I am worried that this is her personality. And if it is, I dont want to feel like this for my entire life.

    My mother has admitted to not liking my personality. And says that she loves me, but doesnt like me. My mother and I dont mesh well together for too long. My mom and my grandmother dont get along either. I dont want to keep this chain going, I dont want this for my relationship with MY daughter!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I get along with her really well during the night time reading... We usually have a lot of fun with that. But what about during the rest of the day? She also is one of those children that like to talk A LOT, lol! So the bed time reading is probably nice for me, because it's the only time of the day she's not talking...hahaha! JK.. but not really.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Don't feel too bad, my husband and our first son just don't mesh well either. He's a good father, and he tries so hard, but their personalities just clash. I've known this since my son was just a year old, and he is 5 now and it hasn't gotten much better. The problem is they are just too much alike, but too stubborn to admit it. Our younger son is exactly like me, and so gets along with my husband much easier. It is unrealistic to believe that you will always get along with your children, solely because they are your children, especially when they develop their own individual personalities. Do your best to be patient and fair. Try to find some kind of common ground, something that you both can enjoy doing together, and use that to help build your relationship. Good Luck!

    Answer by my2.5boys at 5:35 PM on May. 6, 2009

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