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How to deal with a grandparent that smokes when baby is around?

k so my mother in law smokes while we are over visitnig. but the thing is she will smoke int eh kitchen while baby is outside playing. and if baby is in the house she will go in the bath room with the door shut and smoke ALOT. Problem is baby girl is pooty trained and everytime we we walk into the bath room its filled with smoke..thick smoke. So how do i get grandma to smoke outside like everyone else does? she is the only one who does this. we've asked her to step outside she refuses.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on May. 6, 2009 in Health

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Seriously I would not bring my kids over to her house. When she asks why tell her the truth, if she agrees to only smoke outside when you are there then I would go over again.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 5:25 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • It doesn't matter if she's in a different room of the house. That smoke will still travel through the air around the house. Its hard because she is from a different generation where smoking wasn't known to do any harm so even though I'm sure she knows smoking is bad now, she might not fully be able to grasp the idea that it still is getting to your DD even if she's not directly near her. I would just tell her that you would really appreciate it if she would go outside to smoke. However it is HER house and ultimately she can do whatever she wants, so if she continues to ignore your wishes, maybe have her come visit at your house from now on? That way she can't just light up inside.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 5:23 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • well i agree with you both. and i understand its her house and she is dead set on not smoking. and my hubby has talked to his mom about stepping outside like everyone else. she just wont do it. and i hate to keep my daughter from her grandparents...but grandma just wont crack. And she is not able to travel to our house to visit due to her health. so im lost i dont know what to do.
    kaitsmom06

    Answer by kaitsmom06 at 5:33 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • sorry she's dead set on not quiting is what i meant to say.
    kaitsmom06

    Answer by kaitsmom06 at 5:34 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • wow she smokes in the bathroom? thats something I did in the high school bathroom lol. she needs to stop smoking around the baby. even if it's done in another room, it's still around the baby. smoke lingers in the air, gets absorbed onto things and the smell and chemicals will be all around the baby. she needs to either STOP smoking in the house and do it outside, or stop smoking all together when you are visiting. if it's rainy and she bitches, and she cant wait an hour till you leave, then I would stop visiting. even if its her house and her rules, she still needs to respect family wishes!
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 6:11 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I would research third hand smoke and get the facts about it, then you will have ammunition when you talk to her about it.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 6:21 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I would not bring my baby to that house.
    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 7:16 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Sorry to say, but it is her house and you cannot expect her to smoke outside. You can ask her but she doesn't have to. Give her pamphlets on second hand smoke and then have her visit the baby at your house where you can tell her to smoke outside. Make sure she washes her hands thoroughly before touching your child.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:15 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I am sorry to say this too but Your baby is obviously the most important factor in all of this and I would never take my baby there if that was the situation! Sorry I know that's harsh but if your baby ever got sick from her smoking around him/her you would never be able to forgive yourself! if she can't travel to see you then meet her at a restaurant in her town, she can't smoke there! just an idea.
    Diana44

    Answer by Diana44 at 10:44 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • if she refuses to wait to light up until the kids aren't around you need to refuse to let her see the kids.
    mommashaybay

    Answer by mommashaybay at 11:14 PM on May. 6, 2009