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What do you say to your hubby when he thinks you don't do anything?

Our house is a disaster. Every room every drawer every cabinet is a mess. I don't like it and it stresses me out. Our garage looks like people who have disorders and end up on Oprah. Get rid of the clothes. You have talked about putting them on ebay forever and it has not happened. If they are not gone including the beds I am loading it up and getting rid of it, Bikes, saws, strollers, cribs all of it. I DO NOT LIKE OUR HOUSE anymore it makes me agravated and stressed out around our kids. The toys need to be purged and got rid of. I love you dearly but this house/yard needs to be cleaned out.



This is a ridiculous exageration but I have 3 kids 4 1/2, 2 1/2 and 6 months, breastfeeding and work out of the home. I obviously do too much if he thinks I have all this time. I can barely keep up w/ cleaning let alone go thru things that need to be thrown out. Any help??

 
3zperfect

Asked by 3zperfect at 8:27 PM on May. 6, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • Tell him to get off his ass and do it then. Set aside a weekend for the two of you to do it. Send the kids away, pump for the baby and get it done and clean it up and then just keep up on it. Both of you not just one of you, its the family mess not just yours.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 8:29 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • maybe take a weekend where you go throw the old stuff, decide what to try to sell (yardsale or craigslist) what to give to goodwill and what to just throw away. then take another weekend and do a full blown cleaning spree on the house, everyone helps (well except the 6 month old, but the 2 1/2 yr old can dust if you spray the stuff or give him the wipes w/stuff on it already my dd helps clean the table, and counters this way and shes 3 shes done it since she was 2) then make the deal of you will keep the house picked up if every weekend everyone pitches in w/dusting, vacuming etc....
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 8:32 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Try giving him a taste of your life... ask him (sometime when he doesnt have plans, like on a weekend) to please watch the kids while you run out and get a couple things to help clean up the house. And ask him to do a certain task (like put away the dishes, or pick up his laundry). Be out for a couple hours, and blame it on traffic. Forget your phone. When you come back, he will see how hard your life is. I feel for you! Hang in there!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Is there any way you could arrange for a 'cleaning party' and have some close friends or family come over and help motivate you, push you into getting rid of things and help keep an eye on the kids while you go through the stuff?
    If you want a happier home you need to find time to do these things. Either put it on Ebay or get rid of it, I agree with your dh! lol I'm not a clutterbug AT ALL, I'm always getting rid of stuff, even if I'm not even in my own home. All my family knows that if I come over and see something that I don't see a reason to keep (like a broken dish or ripped clothing) I throw it out for them. Once a year my older sister and I go to my oldest sisters house and 'purge' stuff for her, she appreciates it because she has 4 kids, a full time job and she's a single mom so it's hard for her to find the time and my sister and I think it's fun to clean stuff!
    mommabear2008

    Answer by mommabear2008 at 8:34 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • You should make a detailed list of what you want/need done for each room. Step by step instructions like...Kitchen a)Pantry cleaned out and wiped down b) junk drawer cleaned out...etc. Then post the list where your husband can see it and tell him you would like him to do start helping you. As you get stuff down cross it off your list. He is probably just as 'overwhelmed' as you are. Men don't know how to multitask, you have to give them step by step instructions (and even those fail). Also let him know if he wants this stuff done he needs to help you.

    Wistful

    Answer by Wistful at 8:42 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • make him walk in your shoes.
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 8:56 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • yup, schedule family time and do it together taking one room at a time each week.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:43 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • You apologize for being lazy and say you're going to try better then you actually try better. Presumably your hubby is out at work all day if he doesn't see what you're doing at home all day. That's his job. Your job is to raise the kids and keep the house and you're clearly not doing that. Your oldest two are old enough to do basic chores around the house but if your house is in that kind of state then clearly they're not.

    For a couple of weeks try not slacking off. Get off the computer and clean your house. If you keep it up it's really not that much work. It'll take some time to pull it up to a reasonable standard but once it's there it's really not much work to keep your house to a reasonable standard. It's worth it to have a happy hubby, one that won't leave you as a single mom with 3 kids because his home life is so miserable and he can't stand it any longer.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • maybe this is me but it would take me one day to take everything i didnt want and put it out and make a sign that said for sale and thats really all it takes.. but then again i only have 2 kids
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Yep, take a day off - heck just pretend to be too sick to get out of bed.

    He just needs a little reminder. Oh, and this is important, at the end of the day, don't rub it in, just ask him how his day was and smile and listen.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on May. 6, 2009

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