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What are some good, funny fortunes for cookies?

I have a bunch of fortune cookies I'm filling with my own fortunes for my friend's 30th birthday and I'm out of ideas.

Answer Question
 
sparrowprincess

Asked by sparrowprincess at 9:01 PM on May. 6, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Love and Prosperity are about to come your way. Your health will never fail you. Someone mysterious is coming your way. Wealth is your fate. Love is about to find you.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 9:04 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • May your next 30 years be as wonderful as you are.
    GMR

    Answer by GMR at 9:04 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I see a big 30 in your future.
    Your lucky numbers are ...insert birth date and number 30.
    It is time to start acting you age not your pant size.
    Age is only a number...but 30 is a big number.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 9:04 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I guess mine were more mean than funny. My friends would laugh their butts off, but maybe yours are more reserved.lol
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 9:05 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • State of pregnancy exist when woman takes seriously something poked in fun.
    Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
    It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.

    LOL , here are some ..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition. Ouch!!!

    The greatest danger could be your stupidity.

    He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.

    He who laughs last is laughing at you.

    A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

    A cynic is only a frustrated optimist.

    A fanatic is one who can't change his mind, and won't change the subject.

    It doesn't matter. Who is without a flaw?

    The world may be your oyster, but it doesn't mean you'll get its pearl.

    Flattery will go far tonight
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 9:11 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • #
    # Confucius says you suck.
    # Good things are being said about you... in bed.
    # You have an ambitious nature and will make a name for yourself... in bed.
    # The best years of your life have already been lived.
    # Bite me.
    # Only a fool would look to a cookie for words of wisdom.
    # Stupidity will be your downfall.
    # Now is the time to try something new... in bed.
    # Eat me.
    # Everything takes longer than you think... in bed.
    # All of your hard work will never pay off.
    # Appearances can be deceiving, but you're not fooling anyone. Poseur.
    # I cannot help you, for I am just a cookie.
    # Please don't eat me. I love you.
    # Happiness and success rightly elude you.
    # Speed is no substitute for accuracy... in bed.
    # You may yearn for perfection, but mediocrity is your fate.
    # The only certainty in life is sweet death.
    # You have the ability to touch many people... in bed.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 9:15 PM on May. 6, 2009

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