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my boy is only 3 years old, he is a very good kid, but almost every nigth I just loose my patience

He is tired, I am tired (I have a baby who don't let sleep more than 1 hour at a time) and the whole nigth time routine is just me yelling and yelling , I get soooo guilty later on, but is happens every nigth.
I am the only one who do this ?, I am a bad mother?, how can I correct this???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:43 AM on May. 7, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (10)
  • let them sleep with you

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 2:53 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • Go to bed earlier. Start your bedtime routine right after dinner and go to bed around 8pm. It is the only way to survive toddlerhood.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 2:56 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • I believe your are handling the situation HORRIBLY to be honest.Im not trying to put you down,but your going to make your 3 year old feel horrible.its not their fault the little baby only lets you sleep for a hour at a the bigger person and take your aggression out on someone else..not a 3 year old.try counseling

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • Take him to the doctor and get some help. This sounds like my life for the first 2 years of my daughters life. I ended up giving my dd medication to help her sleep. She was even given 4 times the recommended dose because anything less didn't help her sleep. I admit she was not herself during the day because she was still dopey from the medicine. It was the only way I could get uninterupted sleep. She ended up having to take the medicine for 7 nights every 6 months. This continued until she was 7 or 8. If I didn't have that week's break every 6 months I would have been horrid. Sleep deprivation is awful.
    My dd is nearly 16 now and still doesn't sleep through. Now she is older though she copes with this on her own.
    At 3 your son doesn't know how to deal with it and you can't deal with the lack of sleep so get help PLEASE.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • SO its not the 3 yr old that doesnt sleep, its the baby, right? Youre saying that while trying to get the 3 yr old to bed, you are impatient with him because he makes it hard and you just want to go to bed? If thats the case, then I would do as pp suggested. Start your routine earlier, let him know that its bath, pj's, teeth and into bed. No exceptions. Keep the SAME routine each night, even on weekends. Please don't fuss at him. Its likely he just wants your attention and because youre so tired you just want to sleep. I can totally relate. Think about how youre going to feel in advance if you fuss at him. You feel guilty and horrible, so make a conscience choice to keep calm. Yelling takes energy. Dont' exert anymore than you have to. ALso make time to cuddle and spend with him during the day if your nighttime routines are rushed. Good luck.

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:45 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • you guys are being totally harsh with her, geeze, and medicating your child for sleep is abuse, just fyi, and also a likely reason why your dd still cant sleep well. momma, i sympathize with you, you are not a bad mom, you are not the only one who has done this, and as you can see, there are definately worse things you can do, please dont medicate your child simply to get them to sleep, it will make life hard later on. doing it every once in awhile because somethings wrong and you cant fix it is one thing, but giving your child 4 TIMES THE REGULAR DOSE is abuse and can kill them, anon, you arent a bad mom either, but you are lucky your daughter is still alive after all you dosed her up with. anyways, momofsaee is right, pay especially close attention to the last 5 sentences of her advice, its perfect, also, try making bedtime fun, i know you are tired, however, so is your tot, and he needs your attention,

    Answer by no.1twinmommy at 11:19 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • and why not let baby be up at this point, playing in a playpen or something so that you can devote all your attention to your tot? record your voice reading a book aloud and play it for him, that can be an excellent soother, and part of bedtime routine, i like to lay down with my twin tots, one at a time, we listen to the tape in the dark, and i hold one, then when he is asleep, i go to the other one, i recorded the full length of both sides of the tape with a variety of books, and they love it. half the time they wake up in the middle of the night and join me in my bed, but it still gives me a good 3 hour break before i let them come in and cuddle, then they go right to sleep with me. also, a small drink in bed can help, warm water, about 1.5oz, it will warm him up and hes already in bed, so it is also a good soother, hope this helps!

    Answer by no.1twinmommy at 11:23 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • I agree with first poster. You really need to have a consistent, early routine. What works for us, is an early dinner, 45 minutes video, bath and bed by 7:00. I have a 4 year old and we've done this for years. People marvel at how well he goes to bed. Good luck! I know it's terribly stressful. Hope things get better for you. If you're consistent with a routine, things will get better!!!

    Answer by Annymous at 2:24 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • i have a 3 year old but my goal before i had my new baby was to get him to go to bed himself ( that way i would be able to mess w/ the baby or me time or whatever. BEFORE i would have to lay in there for-ever it seemed till he feel asleep), so while the baby is asleep when ever in the evening i go and read my son a book, hugs kisses and i leave the room when i 1 st started this it was hell but i conviced him that he is a BIG boy and it finally worked and he looks forward to a book he still throws a fit every now and then but i just leave the room and let him cry him self alseep he had to learn to relax himself on his own then where ever the baby is asleep ( living room, bedroom ) where ever i go and lay down and sleep till the baby gets up you need to really get your toddler to do this and it will help out alot! its alot of work dealing w/ toddlers, Hang IN THERE it will get easier. momma guilt we all have go through it .I do

    Answer by Amanda2430 at 11:57 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • SORRY to all here I misunderstood the question. As to the person who said I abused my child, I forgot to mention that I had only given this to my child under the doctors strictest supervision. In trying to make my answer easier to understand I must have deleted the part where I talked about the doctor because I have referred my child to a doctor at all times. We had tried everything to get the child to sleep and NOTHING helped her at all. I did not use any form of medication for sleeping until she was at least 2 and a half, despite my friends advising me to do so when she 6 months old and not sleeping. I DID NOT ABUSE MY CHILD because the doctor kept her under observation. The medication would not have killed her because it was supervised by the doctor and I apologise for not making this clear. I simply wanted to make it clear that some children are not natural sleepers.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 AM on May. 8, 2009

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