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Why are men so mean? And what should I do??

I don't have any mom friends I can talk to about this, well heck I really don't have any close friends I can talk to about this. I work part-time. My schedule is 4 days a week from 3-8 p.m. My husband works in the morning and gets off at 3 p.m. so we switch. He watches the kids while I work. Our 5 year-old just plays by himself after they do the bare minimum with his homework. If he tries to talk to my husband, my husband gets aggravated with him. My 2 month-old tends to cry more with him than with me all day. Last night my husband fed him about 3 or 3:30 then left him in his crib from about 4:30 to 8 when I got off. And he cried off and on that whole time. When I called him on my break he was very rude to me. My husband never went back to comfort him. I didn't talk to my husband at all last night or this morning. He asked me a question about something totally different, like nothing is wrong. What should I do?

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Asked by momofajcj at 9:36 AM on May. 7, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (12)
  • Men are just weird when it comes down to parenting. They aren't like a mother, and get aggravated easily. My husband is the same way. He doesn't understand that it's a baby, not a trained pet that does everything you want. He was probably just frustrated.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • tell him you are concerned about his behavior. Word it like you are worried about him, and if he gets snappy, let him freakin have it. Tell him you expect him to be a parent or you will hire someone to watch the kids and he can pay for it. Seriously, men are so ignorant sometimes I would be so mad and upset with him. how can men do stuff like that? If hubby doesnt turn it around, get a sitter...your kids need a caring person, especially the 2 month old. I have a almost 4 week old and if I found out he left him in his crib that long, I would threaten to kick him out. i love my DH but my kids come first-always. get the sitter, call a family member(liek his mom and tell her what he did), or hire someone. There are so many caring people who love to be with kids, and then you get peace of mind. good luck honey.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 9:41 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • Tell him either he steps it up or you quit your job and find something you can do from home. If the baby wasn't sleeping then he should not be left in his crib at all. This is a true story, my cousin left their child in the crib crying, she was 13 months at the time. She finally stopped and they ignored her and went about their own business for 2 hours, when they finally went to check to make sure she was sleep she had suffocated herself and was completely brain dead. After 4 days on life support they finally pulled the plug because she made no progress. Anything can happen at any age. So either hire someone, quit or have your husband get a second job to make up for your lost income since he is not responsible enough to watch his kids. What is he doing that they are interfering with? IN my house its the damn xbox360 so I block the internet during certain hours of the day so he has no choice but to do more than play.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 9:47 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • I feel like you do sometimes, I don't even like leaving my kids with theier own father. Now that's bad. He gets so frustrated as soon as he gets home. Our baby never cries with me all day, but as soon as he's got her it's another story. All he does is watch tv with the older two. He doesn't play with them. He makes me so mad, but no matter what I have said to him about it, he hasn't changed, so goo luck to you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • I don't understand you even asking this question.
    If a baby cries, then you check on it. A two month old baby doesn't cry for no reason so crying off and on for 3 1/2 hours is just not right to ignore. I learned with my first one that they get hairs tangled on them, they itch, they have something wrong or they don't cry.
    I don't know how you do it really. I'm not trying to sound mean or like I'm bashing you but I'd quit my job that day and tell him "if you can't do the parenting thing, then I'm going to stay home and do it or put him in daycare because a crying newborn should NEVER be ignored for that long"

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:05 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • Wow, I sure hope he didn't neglect a diaper change.

    Your poor children!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • I don't think your husband is being mean. He probably is just in way over his head and is not one who is naturally equipped to be a nurturer. It may surprise you to learn that most men are not. That's one of the biggest differences between men and women. I think you probably should look for someone else to watch your children while you are at work.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:14 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • I'd either quit or hire a someone you trust to watch your kids.Your husband doesn't care as much for his kids as much as you do.At least your 5 yr old will have someone to play with.

    Answer by evelynwest at 10:42 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • He's their FATHER! Grab him by he scruff and sit his ass down for a chat about what that means and give him the choice of manning up and handling the business of being a real father, or you're going to quit your job or have to hire a babysitter so, no more cash for extras or pretty much anything but the basics. Make damn sure he understands that HE needs to make the decision to be a real father to his children and then he needs to actually do the work. This isn't rocket science, people. There's no adequate reason for him not to do the very best job possible here.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 12:26 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • he obviously doesn't want to be Mr Mom. Get a sitter before your children get some sort of personality disorder over how they are being treated by dad.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:45 PM on May. 7, 2009

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