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Getting married.....

I am expecting my first child in October, and my fiance wants us to get married before the baby is born. I know i am going to marry him, but i really dont want to have a wedding when im pregnant, for a bunch of reasons... he doesnt understand i dont want to be big walking down the aisle, and i dont really want to spend a sh*tload of money on a wedding right now.. Does that make sense? or am i the one being weird?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on May. 7, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (11)
  • You could just get married at the JOP and then after the baby is here and you've lost all the baby weight have an actual wedding. It makes sense not spending all that money, you should be saving it for your baby.
    1and1make3

    Answer by 1and1make3 at 9:54 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • i agree i was the same way. i wanted to feel like i was the most beautiful girl in the room and have everyones eyes on me and not because i was huge and preggo
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • nope, totally makes sense!! I am 19 weeks pregnant right now, but i will be 22 1/2 weeks when we get married. We already had it all planned, and we have been BROKE for the past three months for thsi stupid wedding!!! I wish we would have went on a cruise to get married, would have been soooo much easier!!! I wnot be huge, and im about 5 months pregnant. i didnt have to get a maternity dress, so i was happy! But i am very excited, im jsut worred about being sick that day, or fainting from standing there too long. lol. wouldnt that be terrible?!!?! The only thing i dont like is that at the reception everyone will be drinking and having fun, and i will not be able to. BUT the baby will be worth it all, and ill still have a great time!! We just wanted all of our last names to be the same when the baby was born, otherwise we would have pushed the wedding back. This was the WORST way to plan, soo stressful! so i understand =)
    StacyDeAnn

    Answer by StacyDeAnn at 9:57 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • I agree! Dh and I talked about marriage before I got pregnant and then when I got pregnant he suggested hurrying up and doing it before she was born but I didn't want to for many reasons like you. I didn't want to be huge, I wanted to be able to dance and have a good time not worrying about my ankles swelling up, I didn't want people to think we only got married because I was pregnant. So we waited, dh proposed (with the ringbox clipped onto a bears bow while I was in the hospital) the day after dd was born. Then we waited another 8 months before we got married, that gave me time to get used to being a mom, save up money, lose the weight and plan everything without getting too stressed out. I'm glad we waited because everything came out perfect! I didn't have to rush to do it all and I could spend extra time with dh because I wasn't too busy planning a wedding at the last minute.
    mommabear2008

    Answer by mommabear2008 at 9:59 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • Planning for a wedding when you have a new baby REALLY sucks. I wish we would have done it BEFORE or during my pregnancy! It was SO hard to make time to do planning when all I wanted to do was spend time with the new baby! PLUS if you put it off until after then you may have more reasons to put it off, baby weight- money , ect...maybe have a SMALL ceremony and on your 1 year anniversary have a big reception with the dress and everything? I am jsut telling you - it is HARD to do once a baby is needing your attention :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • Oh yea, i forgot to mention that-we were going to get married at a JOP and have a reception later, with the dress and everything...but he was soo worried that i wouldnt ever end up getting my dream wedding...we would end up jsut putting it off and putting it off, and it would never end up happening so we jsut went ahead and did it.lol
    StacyDeAnn

    Answer by StacyDeAnn at 10:18 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • I posted the same question in relationships and someone wrote

    " Do it while he's in the mood to marry you, Most guys change their mind, and think marriage isnt nesessary, dont wait until you think the timing is perfect"

    LMAO that is another reason i dont want to do it right away, i dont want ppl thinking we are getting married b/c "we have to" or "its the right thing to do" We were already planning on getting married long before we found out we were pregnant!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • In response to that quote........Sorry but if a man changed his mind about marrying you then you shouldn't be marrying him in the first place, what would happen if you got married THEN he changed his mind about wanting to be married? If a man isn't 100% ready then a wedding should NOT be taking place! lol
    mommabear2008

    Answer by mommabear2008 at 10:29 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • LOL!! I know!! wtf? that was strange....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on May. 7, 2009

  • My mother is an ordained minister so she is marrying us this weekend in our backyard. We will go camping for 4 days as a mini honeymoon in July and we'll also just have a BBQ cookout in our yard with family and friends to celebrate. A big wedding isn't necessary. I've been married before and spending $4,000+ on a wedding which is designed as a large party for guests and NOT you and your husband just seems silly to me now. I don't need a fancy dress and a reception hall to know we are in love and want to spend our lives together as husband and wife. The only cost for our wedding: $40 for the license!
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 10:48 AM on May. 7, 2009

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