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What would you tell your 13yr old daughter if she aked you, "how do you know if you are in love with someone"

My daugher asked me yesterday and I had to think for a moment about love and the many different kinds of love. There is a parental love, a freindship love, a lover's love and so many ways to love a person. This is what I said, you want to be with them becuase you enjoy their company, you think about them often, you care about how they feel, like you want them to be happy and make them feel better if they are sad. They make you happy and even if each others quirks you still want to be around them. I know there is so much more I could have said. I know Im in love with my hubby cuz he still makes my heart skip a beat when he touches me and I know when Im a raving loonatic he will still be there for me. I know I love him in way you just cant put all into words. So Im aksing you what would you say if asked the question "how do you know when you are in love?'


Asked by debmom07 at 12:10 PM on May. 7, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 6 (132 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • The best thing a teacher ever did for me was make a list of a bunch of words like Love, Lust, Pain, Anger, Sex, Friend, Partner, Husband, WIfe.. so on so fourth and told us to define those words with out ONCE useing the word in a sentence or useing any of the other words on that list... I have a great understanding for emotions and feelings after that project, we were givin the whole semister to compleat that project, and at its ending I couldnt thank her enough, I answerd my own questons and had a deeper understanding for those subjects. Try it with your daughter. it may work for her!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on May. 12, 2009

  • I would tell her, you don't really know until you're 25! LOL, gosh my daughter is almost 13 and I don't want this question thrown at me yet! but I think what you told her hits right in the nail!

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 12:27 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • There is a portion of the movie Captian Corelli's Mandolin with Nicholas Cage, where the woman he is in love with asks her father this question. His response is one of the most beautiful explanations of love I have ever heard. I am paraphrasing of course, but something to do with imagining yourself and your loved on as a tree. He asks if she feels like their roots are so intertwined that she does not know where she ends and he begins. He asks if her love were to be uprooted would she survive. I know it is kind of corny but it was beautiful.

    Answer by salexander at 1:29 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • You did great!!!!! I told my son that love is when you want to be with someone because they make you happy, secure, that just seeing their smile or hearing their voice makes you happy. That you can deal with the good and bad things about the person. That your heart feels happy when you think about or are with the person you love.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:47 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • I would ask her the question. It's about what she thinks. A lot of young girls think butterfies in the stomach means love or attention from a boy means love or even if he says he loves her then it's real love. See what her thoughts are about it and guide her from there. Whatever you say to her about it will be abstract to her so start with what she thinks and feels first.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:26 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • I agree with getting her ideas first. Then I would tell her that true love brings out the best of both people and I know that my husband and I are better people together than we would be separate.

    When my daughter was 9 or 10, she asked me why I married Daddy; without thinking, I told her because he makes me laugh; still true after 15 years.

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:29 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Just a thought here, but don't you think she might be asking because she might think SHE is in love with someone?

    Find out how much she knows before you answer the question. She might be asking something completely innocent, or very complicated - you'll know how to answer once you know what the guiding force is behind the question.

    Ask her to "Why don't you describe what YOU think love is?" to you, ask her "What made you think to ask that question?" and "What do you friends say about what love is?"

    Answer by texassahm at 6:15 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • A younger friend of mine asked me that the other day. I tried to explain the feelings I have for my lover.

    I told her that you will find out you love someone when you are away from them.
    You will miss them.
    Your body will want their touch, hugs, kisses, and anything really.
    You will get butterflies all the time.
    The thought of that person will just make you smile randomly.

    I also told her that after a few trial and error situations, you will know.

    Answer by MammaBella at 9:12 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Yeah, ask her what she thinks, or if she thinks she is in love with someone. A 13 year old with a crush could read a lot into what you said. Think about it, your first crush could do no wrong and you always felt good when they were around. She could fit everything that you said into her own situation if hat is the case. I think what you said was great, but I would check to see what she it thinking since perhaps she may be trying to get in too deep with someone.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 4:44 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Those are all very good answers. Only things is I remember being a teenager in "love" and I could have answered all of those questions with a yes. I remember one guy who I thought if I had to go one day without seeing him I would die. Did I think I was in love with him, yes. Looking back now I know I was no where near close.

    I agree with trying to get to the root of why she asked. My dd isn't 13 yet but if she came to me with that question my first thought would be that she thinks she's in love with someone. At 13 it's all about the hand holding and starry eyes (and for a few others it advances to more). To me love is all of the things everybody else listed but it is also about communication. After 10 years dh and I still have things to talk about. Being able to just sit and talk rather than sit in silence watching tv is a huge part of our relationship.

    Answer by sadira29 at 9:07 PM on May. 9, 2009