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When a parent tells you your kid is picking on their kid do you believe them right away or do you talk to your kid and try to get to the bottom of it?

I ask this because the other day my son came home crying saying 2 girls were pulling his hair and wouldn't let go. He said he went to their house and told their mother but she told him "he deserved it so she didn't want to hear it." I asked him why she would say that and he told me her son told her MY son was picking on him when they were playing football. I asked if he was picking on this boy or if it was a misunderstanding. He said he caught the football when the other boy was going for it and the other boy got mad and that's when he told his mom my son was being mean. So I went to talk to the woman and she keeps insisting it was my son's fault and her daughters (who are older then my son) were justified in pulling my sons hair. I asked if she saw it and she said no but "her son doesn't lie" I told her if she had a problem with my son, she needed to come see me and not let her daughters handle her dirty work. It's a big mess

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on May. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Of course I don't automatically believe whatever my kid says; I ask questions and get to the bottom of things! I think this other mother is doing her children a disservice here, I don't blame you for being upset, your poor son. Good on him for not just decking those girls.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 12:43 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • The other boys are all friends of my son so he doesn't play with this kid on regular basis. He knows now is this boy is around, he is not to play with him but that woman made me so mad!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • well if her kids are perfect and being bullies get her by calling the police and making a report. It will scare the hell out of all of them and stop the bullying they are doing.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 12:27 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Why on earth would you go to the woman's house? So what if they pulled his hair, all kids do stupid things, sheesh. If this was some ongoing problem causing emotional pain for your child, that is something else, but one incident? Really? How old are these kids? Old enough that you child is roaming the neighborhood without you yet you going after the girl's mom? How odd.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 1:20 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Wow! Are you serious? She thinks it's OK for her children to pull another child's hair? WTF? Stay away from her and her spawn.
    mlregalado

    Answer by mlregalado at 1:49 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Keep your son away from her and her kids. She will never believe you or anyone else that her kids are bullies. I can't believe she would condone her kids physically harming another child. That is just wrong, she is teaching her kids to be bullies. I do not automatically believe someone when they say my son was mean, because he can be verbally mean. If someone said my son id something physically I would doubt it because he doesn't hurt other kids.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:54 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • look at all my posts.the apple doesnt fall far from the tree.everytime my daughter is bullied and i go to the mother they are as phsyco as the kids.talk to your son about this.this same thing happened to my daughter when she was practicing soccer.my daughter was winning(the other girl is clearly a better soccer player)she grabbed my daughter scratched her neck and threw her to the ground.see i dont understand that .kids are getting so competitive.just because our kids were playing better that doesnt mean there should be physical violence.what kind of sportsman ship is that/but i have learned not to go to the parents.
    raineydays377

    Answer by raineydays377 at 2:17 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • "Why on earth would you go to the woman's house? So what if they pulled his hair, all kids do stupid things, sheesh. How old are these kids? Old enough that you child is roaming the neighborhood without you yet you going after the girl's mom? How odd. "

    First of all, I went to talk to this woman to tell her it is NOT ok for her to tell my son he deserves anything, least of all her punk daughters pulling hair. And second, he was NOT "roaming the neighborhood." We live in an apt complex and they were playing in front of his friends apt on the grass. This happened when his friends mom went inside for a minute so they were not unsupervised. So I think you are the odd one here if you think it's ok for kids to maliciously harm others. Had it been an injury that happened on accident that would have been another story. I hope the next time your kid gets his butt kicked you have the same attitude.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on May. 7, 2009