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help me please...

im losing my relationship... me and my boyfriend havent been getting along at all and its getting worse... we have a month old daughter and i love him alot. but it just seems like we are so distant and cant talk about things and argue all the time... for you women who have been here many times... married or just in a relationship... how do you get through these hard times?? how do you fix it or help your relationship??... i dont want it to end... but i dont know what to do.... please help ladies...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on May. 7, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • i used to be the type that needed to know why and find resolution. sometimes arguing becomes a crappy habit. to change the situation, you need to change the behavior, break the habit. it might sound crazy/impossible, but just stop... act as if the relationship is what you want it to be. take a look at what is going on - most likely you are upset about expectations you have that aren't being met. there is probably a better way to deal with them. also, let go of any need to control. be nice. watch your words. think about the goal before you speak and things might come out differently. this is a new situation to you both and it is stressful. remember you are on the same side. find a way to support each other and be friends.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:29 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Sometimes you just have to take a step back and let go. You say you are arguing all the time? This isn't good for you or your child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Well when my son was just born i had the same problem with my boyfriend. I wanted to end the relationship cause it was like the onliest time we got along was when we were sleeping. We argued bout everything you can think of. I had a talk with him and if he saw me doing something he didnt like he told me and vice versa instead of making it into a big thing. It depends wha the arguement is about too. I think you should just let him know that you dnt like how things are between you to and see how he feels about it too and maybe just have some fun together remind him howmuch you love him. Hope it works out
    dashion

    Answer by dashion at 1:22 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • First and foremost, you have a 1 month old child. Obviously this is a major life change for you and your BF. You need to keep that in perspective. My DH and I fought a lot after our son was born. We were so sleep deprived that we fought about silly things, I can't even remember what the arguments were about! Give it time, try and communicate and don't fight nasty (i.e. name calling, belittling, etc). Once your baby gets older and you get more sleep, LOL, things could get better.
    ap9902

    Answer by ap9902 at 1:24 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • I wouldn't make any drastic decisions during post partum time. You are still adjusting hormonally as well as adjusting to having a new baby. Let things settle down first. Talk to him and ask him what he wants to do, too. Then think about options but once again don't do it now.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:59 PM on May. 7, 2009