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Would you say something to her?

A friend of mine has a 9 month old, who is quite a light weight. He weighs less than my 7 month old who is only in the 15th percentile for weight.

On her blog she has pictures of him in a toddler front facing car seat. I thought I might mention something like "oh, I thought that wasn't legal until they were at least 1." Or just something subtle like that. Maybe,
"cute car seat, I didn't know he was old enough for front facing, gee they grow up so fast!" But I'm kind of a chicken so I think I might stay out of it.

What would you do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on May. 7, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (9)
  • As long as your not jumping on her I would go for it. You know it's going to drive you crazy if you don't.

    Answer by MACY7108 at 3:24 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Honestly, since this could easily become a potentially life threatening event, I would say something. You are totally correct about it not having to be harsh.

    I think something along the lines "Oh! I thought kids had to be at least 1 and twenty pounds to front face in a carseat. Maybe we should check into that I would hate for either of us to get a ticket."

    Answer by FuzNet at 4:03 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Just be upfront about it. Those subtle statements you suggested come over kinda passive-aggressive to be honest with you. Just say "I noticed on your blog that you have photos of little Johnny forward facing in a car seat and that concerns me since he's so small." There are still people who don't get that that just isn't safe, she might just want him to see where he's going. All seats have warnings on them so you can just point those out to her. If all else fails just tell her it's illegal and she'll be in big trouble if she gets pulled over like that.

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 4:30 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • I've been in this situation before. But I'm so outspoken that I didn't even think twice before I said something to her. She had two kids. A very small 2 year old, and a 7 month old. Neither were ever buckled into their carseats, nor the carseat buckled into the car. I finally got a good look at things when I noticed the 7 month old front facing!!! I spoke up immediately! I told her that everything she was doing was illegal, and that if anyone else were to see this, that there was a good chance of them calling CPS. She tried to protest that they were both big enough to face forward, I had to point out the seat belt situation again...Umm hello...Do we not want whats best for our kids here? She turned the infant seat around and immediately began buckling both the carseat, and kids into the car. I think she got the point, that even tho we were friends, I wasn't going to sit by thinking about the danger she was putting her kids in.

    Answer by wishwish at 4:52 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • That child's safety matters most. Bring it up along with all the information supporting extended rear facing. Send her fact links. I have plenty if you need.

    Answer by jus1jess at 5:30 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • wishwish. What was she thinking the purpose of the car seat going to serv if it wasn't buckled in or have a child buckled into it. Did she think it was to give them a boost so they could see where they are going. She sounds like a total ditz. I am glad you set her straight. I always double check . i sometimes get this bad feeling like did i remember to buckle the baby or is it still buckled into the seat good. I can't imaging what some people think. It is on the same line as the time there was a post about a mother who let her 6 month old bay bathe by himself. Apparently she just left him in there and went and did other things because she said he could sit up just fine and liked to play or something like that. It did not get good responses on that one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • You know... I would say
    "What an adorable picture of your son. It appears, however, that is is forward facing which really worries me. You may not know that the law requires a child be rear facing until they are 1 year AND 20 lbs. The way he is now I fear he might be seriously injured in the event of a car crash. This is because at this age their spine is mature enough to withstand the force of a crash. The american acadamy of pediatrics actually states that a child should rear face until they are 2 years old. I know you want to make your son as safe as possible, he is such a sweetie"

    Answer by AmiJanell at 6:19 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Actually I like the original posters planned "light" statements the best. I would not be as offended as I would be if someone started reciting laws and statistics to me, but then everyone is different,

    Answer by MACY7108 at 6:42 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • My MIL gave me a car seat and actually hooked it up in my car for my six year old, she told me that the law had changed and my six year old was too light to be out of a booster. I was offended a lil at first (like hello, who are you to just hook a car seat up in my car) but i got over it, and my six year old is much safer... and it saved is 15-30 bucks... lol... I would respond better to the lighter statements, If you brought it up kind of off handedly like Op said the mother would not go on the defensive and would be forced to at least consider her choices.

    We all need advice sometimes right?

    Answer by LuckyClown at 7:57 PM on May. 7, 2009

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