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my 4 year old just came up to me for no reason at all and said mommy you are an idiot

I am serious I was on the computer on the porch she was in the yard playing came up to me and said mommy when I looked at her she said mommy you are an idot. WHAT??? I yelled at her not to say that and now she is mad at me. She has even told me the other day that she hated me. Why is 4 worse than 2 or 3 years? When will it get easier? And I tell you what she has a mouth on her I do disapline so don't say I don't, but she back talks and everything now.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on May. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • my answer disappeared! Don't over react. Just tell her that's not a nice thing to say and leave it alone. As for the hate thing, tell her it makes you sad when she says that and replace the hate word with " but I love you". Words are abstract to children so they don't understand what they really mean. We have to train them when they get off track with something they heard somewhere
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:41 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • My son tried that around that age. I agree, 4 is worse than 2 but you would be surprised how 3 swats on the butt can make a difference. My son looked at me with shock. I said "Say something like that to me again and you get more. Want another one?" Shakes his head furiously "No ma'am." Go play. Goober.
    lilbit022009

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 3:40 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • lilbit: hitting only confuses them. they don't even know what they did wrong. Just correct her in a verbal and calm way, don't punish her for a crime she doesn't understand she committed
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:43 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Do not accept disrespect from your children EVER. I would have made a VERY big deal about it.

    "You don't EVER call Mommy names! Don't you ever do that again. You get a time out for that."

    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 3:44 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • At 4 they do know what they did wrong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • 4-years olds know that words can hurt. I obviously don't know your child personally, but the 4 year olds I have worked with in my preschool classes knew just what to say to make someone angry or to hurt feelings.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 3:46 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • I disagree! At 4 they know what they are saying! My 4 year old has told me he hates me and wants a new mom! I told him I would take him to the mommy store if that was how he felt. He didn't want to go. If they didn't know it hurt they wouldn't say things like that when they are mad.
    klpeter

    Answer by klpeter at 3:57 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • I have a soon to be 9 and 4 year old and they have never said anything like that to me... I know children are very impressionable and pick up on how mom and dad act towards each other and other people... Perhaps your child heard you or somebody else say that to someone.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 3:59 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • I don't ever use the word hate or idiot exspecially to my kids and I don't say it to my DH so they haven't heard it from me
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:39 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Thats fine, but I did say in what I wrote that they could have heard it from someone else. There is no need to jusify yourself if you know you never said those things infront of your child.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 6:25 PM on May. 7, 2009

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