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help me i am going to go insane and i mean it

my DD just turned 4 and she is at this whatever stage you call it where she doesn't want to listen what so ever and she talks back to you and thinks she can get a way with it then when i disapline her she gets mad at me, but oh well the thing is i am about to go insane all she does is tell on her 16 month old sister for the littlest things and when i tell her to stop telling on her or if i tell her to mind her own business then she tells me to mind my own business. how can i handle this without completely going in sane?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on May. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • What you are going through is very normal! You will survive, even if it doesn't seem like it right know. Keep up the discipline it will eventually work. As to the tattling, it is so irritating, my younger three are doing it right know. I just ignore it, I'll say something like " I don't listen to tattling". BUT if they are saying something where it could be harmfull to the other child I say "Thank-you for telling me that ??? could hurt themsleves" At 4 she knows the difference. Be strong!
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 4:50 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Is it possible to have someone else watch them for awhile so you can be alone? My son is at that stage also where whenever I tell him to do something he answers "No" and it drives me nuts! He also started whining and telling me to be quiet. He usually stops when he knows he's in trouble but still, I hate that it gets to that point! Keep telling her she does not tell mom to mind her business and keep up with the discipline. Otherwise she'll think if she keeps it up, she'll get what she wants. Good luck and sorry I couldn't be of more help!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • tattling might come in handy some day. My mom encouraged it so she'd know what was up and could decide if it was important or not so listen and ignore it if it's not important but children learn what they live. you are teaching her to say mind your own business so you can't blame her. Just choose your battles with little ones.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:49 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • The most effective thing I have done for the definat/obstinant stage is using a "3 strikes" warning system. If they get "3 strikes" (for the same or similar offense, then they LOSE something that is special/preferred to them for a set amount of time). 

    While you are taking away said favorite item or priviledge you need to CLEARY explain WHY, and what they can do to earn it back!

    For example...tattling (3 strikes) = loss of 5 minutes of TV time; going to bed 5 minutes earlier, etc.  Talking back/sassing (3 strikes) =losing a favorite toy, not playing with a certain friend, not doing something she REALLY likes to do!



    The more preferred the toy/activity is to her, the more impact the punishment will have!



    The next step after taking away things, would be chores...making their bed, helping with dishes, laundry, throwing away DIAPERS! LOL

    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 4:59 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Don't really know what to do about the tattling, but about the talking back I had the same problem. And the ONLY thing that worked for me was soap in the mouth. I tried EVERYTHING else...love/logic, time-outs, ignoring, asking not to speak like that to me, taking things away and spanking (after X amounts of infractions with plenty of warnings it was gonna happen...ya gotta follow through if you're gonna threaten it). The kid only got the soap once for about 5 seconds and now if there's a little back talk going on all I have to do is warn that the bar of soap is gonna come out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on May. 7, 2009

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