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Daycare director says my son is not developmentally where he should be...

I just changed his daycare on Monday and he seems to be fine with it. The director and class teacher are telling me that he is hitting a lot, won't sit in time out and separating him from the rest of the kids by puting him in a crib doesn't seem to matter to him. The director told me this morning that he is not developmentally where he should be for an almost 2yr old at following directions and understanding consequences. I am so confused, do I chalk this up to "every child is different" or should I really be concerned? I don't want to be the mom that says "oh not my angel!" I do make sure to correct him when he's doing wrong but I can't help but feel there is more I can do. Advice, input, comments???

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aidengrant07

Asked by aidengrant07 at 4:57 PM on May. 7, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (10)
  • I didn't know any child understood consequences at 2 but iDK its been awhile since I had one at that age. I have a girl and every little boy I see looks like ADD to me compared to girls =). I would keep working with him about following directions and see how he does. I wouldn't run and get him labeled with anything, I have seen boys at 8yrs old that don't follow directions and understand consequences LOL..give it time and just keep working with him!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 5:08 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • LMAO! Yeah, even when I try to make him look me in the eyes and explain something to him he either closes his eyes or looks around like he's watching a fly! Then he will point and say "bug" or whatever he can do to distract me. Puting him in time out is a joke because he will play with the freakin' wall or carpet! I just really don't know what to do. Spanking or swatting him will only teach him to hit when he's not getting his way. ( I have recently figured that out through experience.) I just really don't know what to do anymore but I cannot give up.
    aidengrant07

    Answer by aidengrant07 at 5:17 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • well, unless this woman has a degree in Early Childhood Education or another related field, she may be just spewing her ideas.

    BUT, some of the things you said might concern me a bit. Nothing to flip out over yet though. ;)

    I DO have a degree in Early chidhood education and I also have a developmentally delayed dd, with pdd-nos. So I know a thing or two.

    At your point, I would keep an eye on him and maybe mention your concerns to the pediatrician. If they seem concerned too then they will refer you for testing.

    Tell the director you are aware of the issues. Also tell her that you are going to speak to the pediatrician whenever you go again. No hurry though.

    I would also find out if she knows what she is talking about first too... lol
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 5:27 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • You can put him in a playpen for time out..that way he has to STAY. But don't use his crib where he sleeps as time out. Buy a cheap playpen or find one at a yard sale. Eveytime he acts up say this is you warning if you keep doing >>>> you're going to time out if he does it again take him straight to time out and tell him ur going to time out because>>>and explain to him why. Leave him there 2 min. then take him out and get him back into playing or whatever, but be consistant and you will see a change.
    Kimx3babies

    Answer by Kimx3babies at 5:28 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • you just brought him to this place and they are seperating him from the other kids in a crib? Maybe he's a bit embarressed and lashing out? Or doesn't feel like he knows the kids well enough - sounds like these are extreme snap judgements if they just have been with him since monday. My son is only 18 months but some boys are boys and keeping my son still for 15 seconds is a chore
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:38 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Did the director offer tips or just go on about how he's "not where he should be". Obviously the other day care didn't have a concern if they didn't mention it to you. Just let the director know that you've been at another center and that the must have had different expectations. They will need to work with you and him on what they expect and how to reach those goals. They will also need to wait more than 4 days to assess him. Transitions are hard on kids and each one reactions different. He could jsut be regressing as his response and as he gets more comfortable will return to his usual development level. Does that make sense?

    Anyone, they key is to make sure you and the day care are on the same page. Do you think they expect too much? Are they not being patient? Do you need to work with him? Does he just neede more time? etc.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Well the director just called and said she has been thinking about our convo and wants to give him more time. She also suggested things for me to do at home (ie take him out of his high chair and let him sit at the table and eat). She also mentioned something about someone from the school district coming out (if I want) to evaluate his behavior and his speech level. Right now I feel that the school/daycare wants to work with me (because that is what she keeps telling me). I have a feeling if he has more consistancy in his life he will be a happier child all around. But I also requested that she inform my son's father after their initial meeting (we are not together) so that I don't seem to be bossing him around and maybe he will take her seriously. Thanks ladies! :) mom2twobabes: can you pm me? I would like to ask you some ???
    aidengrant07

    Answer by aidengrant07 at 5:55 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • My daughter was sent home from preschool twice with chickenpox that was actually excema and once with pink eye that was allergies. It sound like your son may not be developmentally ready for this group. If your spidey-sense is telling you that there may be an issue, then contact your family doctor for an evaluation.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:04 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • i don't agree with the teachers putting your son in a crib for a time out.
    GreekMama28

    Answer by GreekMama28 at 12:22 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • Sounds to me like he's having a hard time adjusting just like any toddler would. Unless he had these same behaviors before you moved, I wouldn't be too worried.

    *Maybe* he is behind developmentally but I don't think the daycare director is qualified to say so. But I wouldn't put a lot of stock into that until I was told by my son's pediatrician.
    madamekatekate

    Answer by madamekatekate at 10:00 AM on May. 8, 2009

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