Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you know what mental monogamy is...?

Do you believe mental monogamy is the highest standard in a relationship? Would you prefer your relationship to be mentally and physically monogamous, is your relationship like that already? Or do you think such a standard of fidelity is unrealistic or not needed? What is your opinion? What do you prefer in your relationship?


Asked by Tickledtrauma at 6:32 PM on May. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (13 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • i believe a person can be mentally monogamous. All it takes is training the mind. Anyone can change the way they think and behave, it just takes willpower and time.

    Answer by LilChynaDollie at 12:02 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I believe women can do mental monogamy easier than men. My relationship is an open one bc I know my SO can't be monogamous mentally or physically. I'm not happy about it but it's what I agreed to so I deal with it. It seems to work for us. Not sure how long I'll tolerate it but he loves chasing women. He always comes back but it does get old. I've dealt with it for 3 yrs now. It's sort of grows on ya after a while. Not like he can do much once he catches them though. He cant' stay hard!

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:36 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • my husband told me that he never wanted our marriage he never got his singleness an that he loves our kids not me but he returns to me every night is he confused i dunno like u if i can even handle this im trying but well see i live with him an he does kiss me an havesex maybe i need to stop this from happening i metion i wanna go out an he said oh u better go home but he said i got half of him an the other half is living a partying single life??i dunno what he wants i asked about the divorce an he said no he doesnt want one

    Answer by ohmama213 at 6:45 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • I don't think it's possible to be completely monogomus mentally. I don't entertain the idea of having sex with men (not that the thought doesn't cross my mind) but as soon as it does, you direct your thoughts somewhere else. So in answer... you can be physically monogomus but not completely 100% mentally. I don't think it's possible for anyone to not wonder what it'd be like to be the gf of someone or wonder what they'd look like naked etc.. doesn't mean you want to do it, doesn't mean you would do it... only means that the mind can be divirted but there's not a marriage block (as opposed to parental block) on it.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:52 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • "Do you believe mental monogamy is the highest standard in a relationship? Would you prefer your relationship to be mentally and physically monogamous, is your relationship like that already?"

    Yes, yes and yes. The mind is the most powerful sex organ there is.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 7:03 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • I think mental monogamy is unrealistic. The mind is wonderful thing capable of wonderful thoughts and fantasies and I see no harm in finding other people attractive while you are with someone else. Our sexual desires are the most primitive of all our functions and your body may respond to someone by thinking about them or getting 'fluttery'. Its basic nature.

    Physical monogamy can be achieved, but if it is to be kept up for a long period of time, I believe it takes a lot of work.

    IMO the physical sex act/s CAN have a direct emotional relation to an individual, but it doesn't have to....I still feel desire for other men and could engage in sexual activites w/o it diminishing the Love I have for my DH. I can see it as a simple need being fulfilled. I might want to have sex with other men, but I only want to raise my children and spend my life with my DH (and sex

    Its up to each couple to figure it out...


    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 8:54 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • LilChynaDollie I think you are right.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I think people have too much damn time on their hands! Worrying about what their Partner is thinking!!! And believing every thing their partner is telling them they are thinking about?! Come on! It is human nature, we were NOT put on Earth to be monogomous! Especially Men! So if you have a "good one" that is home with you who gives a shit what he is thinking? No wonder guys fantasize and leave their "overbearing" wives. Women think they can take control over body and mind of someone else when they get married! Get over it! Get a job, get some friends, learn to laugh and not sweat the small stuff!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I think it's unrealistic, selfish, and the person who expects it wants it simply to quell their very serious insecurities about themselves and their relationship.They want to be his mother. I want the man I wanted in the begining. Not someone I changed him into.


    Answer by Chrissy629 at 5:40 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I think of nobody but my husband sexually. There are a lot of attractive people in this world & yes, I can see one & think "she is beautiful" or "he is nice looking" but NEVER have I looked at another person like I wanted them. I am completely & totally faithful to my husband. Is he mentally faithful to me? I think he tries to be but probably has a harder time than I do. Sex begins in the mind & the mind can be controlled if a person chooses to control it. It is all about choices.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 AM on May. 8, 2009